Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Hospital Ministry We have decided to suspend our Hospital ministry. We have been praying about it for some time and have made the decision to end that part of our ministry. The Jail Ministry is requiring too much time and energy and we are just getting worn down. We gave the chaplain notice that the first Sunday in October will be our last Sunday. We plan to visit other churches for a while and seek God's will regarding how to serve Him. Until we get some clear direction we are going to continue to explore other churches learning as much as we can about what makes them successful, and how we might be of service without getting burnt out. Please pray for us.

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Monday, September 1, 2008

Something Observed There are few sights sadder than a deflated balloon.

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 Friday, August 22, 2008

Stopping Environmental Sensitivity I have always thought the laws about stop signs were not smart. As long as you slow down enough to make sure nothing is coming, what difference does it make whether you come to a complete stop or not? There was a guy at work complaining that he had been given a ticket for not coming to a complete stop. His argument was that the cops never come to a complete stop. That will not hold up in court. I did not think of it at the time, but it occurred to me later that he could go to court and make an Al Gore defense.

It uses more gasoline to regain you speed after you come to a complete stop. It uses more break pad to come to a complete stop. Think of the damage to the environment. It wouldn't hold up in court either, but it would be more fun.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wedding Anniversary Today is my parent's wedding anniversary. They were always very private in celebrating it. Roses for my mother would often appear in August, but without an explanation to the children. I forget how I came to know it was their anniversary. It could not have been due to genealogical research, because I did not really become interested in that until after my mother died, and I knew it long before that. Perhaps one of my older siblings told me. It might have even been my mother who told me.

I do know why I can remember it. When I first began to travel for training classes with AT&T back in the early 1970's my parents gave me an old suitcase of theirs. The suitcase had a combination lock. It was set to 820. My mother may have even explained that it was their wedding anniversary. Anyway, I did not know how to change the combination, and since I used it for years, 820 kind of got burned on my mind. Whatever happened to that suitcase?

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Friday, August 15, 2008

Halloween in August A bag of candy appeared on the table next to the printer this morning. This is not unusual in itself, since this is the spot where such things are put – cookies, cakes, extra cucumbers from the garden, etc. Those of us, such as myself, who do not mind taking free food from an unknown source, check there often. However, this candy was in little bags with jack-o-lanterns on it. As best as I could tell there were no takers.

By lunch time a sign had been attached to the bag that said, "Last year's Halloween Candy, mostly still good, but stay away from the bubble gum." Still no takers. I am encouraged that my co-workers are showing such wisdom and restraint. Usually sweets, especially chocolate, vanishes swiftly. I thought about adding a note of my own that said, "Save this, and use it this coming Halloween, and the little imps will never bother you again." I decided that as wise as they were, many of my co-workers might not see the humor in it.

By the close of the day the candy had disappeared. I'm not sure whether the one who made the offering retrieved it, the printer table police discarded it, or my co-worker's desire for chocolate overcame their good sense. So what do you think? Trick or treat?

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Thursday, August 14, 2008

First Impressions My oldest daughter is president of the PTA this year at her two youngest children's school. I'm very proud of her. In some respects it seems very natural. Her leadership and organizational abilities have been apparent for many years.

On the other hand, those of us who knew her when she was very young always wonder a bit when she does things like this. When she was very young she was extremely shy. When she was in grade school she went to a concert on a field trip with her school. I was told that she voluntarily went up on the stage for some kind of demonstration. The people, who told me this, among them herself, were credible people, so I believed it; I was surprised, but I accepted it as true, or thought I did. Some time later I was informed, that she was in a play at school. I must not have believed the first story, because I was surprised again. I showed up for the play and was again surprised. She was the narrator. I'm not talking about hidden in the corner, read a line or two at the beginning and again at the end, narrator. I'm talking about, out front, singing her lines from memory, 30 to 40% of the play was her singing, narrator. Well, I had to believe it, didn't I, since I had seen it with my own eyes. Evidently not.

Ever since then she has demonstrated over and over again, that she is a public speaker who is poised, confident, and able to read an audience. She has shown strong organizational and other leadership skills. (Such as now with the President of the PTA thing.) And yet each time it happens my heart sort of skips a beat for her. I can not help but believe she is overcoming something in herself, that makes it emotionally more difficult for her to do these things than most folks. It just makes me that much prouder of her. First impressions are hard to overcome.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Riddles without answers These riddles have no answers. However, they do have explanations.

What's the difference between a Catholic and a river that runs up hill? This appeared in a Nero Wolfe book my wife and I were reading, but it did not give the answer. my wife did some internet research and discovered that it had bothered Nero Wolfe fans for years. The author, Rex Stout, after several decades had passed admitted that he just made it up, and knew of no answer. I decided to share the fun with you and came up with a couple more like it.

What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.

What does, "Uva Uvam Vivendo Varia Fit," mean? This appears in the movie (and book) Lonesome Dove. It is a mangled Latin proverb which before it is mangled means something like "the grapes ripen together." The idea is that people who hang out together go through changes together. See alkek.library.txstate.edu/swwc/ld/ldex081a1.html for a more detailed explanation.

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Saturday, August 9, 2008

Riddles without answers These riddles have no answers. However, they do have explanations. If you figure them out, let me know.

What's the difference between a Catholic and a river that runs up hill?

What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

What does, "Uva Uvam Vivendo Varia Fit," mean?

Next time I post, I'll explain why they have no answer.

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Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Lady with the Weapon One of the ladies in my Greek class had an exciting night last night. She got up in the middle of the night and happened to notice a suspicious car parked in her neighborhood. They have had seven arsons in her neighborhood lately, so she decided to investigate. She went out armed with a cell phone, flash light and shot gun and got close enough to get the tag number. She went back in and called the police. She described the situation and soon found herself talking to the watch commander. He asked, "Are you the lady with the weapon?" Turned out it was an unmarked police car trying to catch the arsonists.

I can just imagine the earlier conversation over the radio.
Policeman: "I need back-up. There is a woman approaching the car with a shot gun."
Watch commander: "Just shoot her."
Policeman: "Are you crazy?! She has a shot gun, and all I have is a pistol. I might miss, she won't."
Watch commander: "You have a shot gun, too."
Policeman: "I'm undercover. The shot gun is in the trunk."
Watch commander: "OK. We'll send back-up"
Policeman: "Never mind. She is going back in. I'm getting too old for this."

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Sunday, August 3, 2008

New Computer I have a new computer. A big thank you to my son-in-law who helped me select it. A triple thank you to him for installing it and making everything work. He has it set up, so I can switch back and forth between my old operating system, Windows NT 4, and the new operating system, Vista. That way I can gradually learn how to use all the new gadgets, while still being able to fall back on the old way, when I need it.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Memory Today is Jimmy Mabry's birthday. He was my best friend when I was very young. I was about a year older than him. I remember going to his birthday party when he turned 4. They had it in his backyard. A year or so before that they were having trouble teaching him bathroom etiquette, so his mother asked me to show him. He was a good student. When we were five or six, he made friends with a little girl across the street. I was so jealous I hit him in the face with a toy truck. We remained good friends until I went to college. He was my car mechanic in the 70's and early 80's. The last time he was in my house was when we lived on Ordway Place. The last time I saw him, about five years ago, the scar where I hit him with the truck was still visible.

Now my memory does not work so well. I'm not on the verge of Alzhiemer's or anything, but long ago memories seem to stick better than recent ones. It requires more effort to memorize things.

Sometimes people show me their disappointment, when I forget important conversations, or pertinent information about their children. I'm not talking about missing appointments. I'm talking about things like some personal trauma someone has faced in their past and overcome or not overcome; or which of their children have been baptized, or something like that. I am wondering if I did the same to any of my elders, but I can not remember for sure. I may have.

Two points for you to remember.

(1) Learn as much as you can as soon as you can. The younger you are the easier it is, and the longer it will last.

(2) Getting mad at gray haired people for being forgetful is stupid. Just refresh our memories and move on.

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Long Beautiful Hair Today I found out that my local grand daughter grows her hair long and then gives it away for wigs for children who have lost theirs due to chemotherapy. I am very proud of her.

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Joy of Salvation I used option one to come up with my sermon. I am currently working on a Bible lesson on the Book of Isaiah, so I am preaching an expository sermon on chapter 12 of Isaiah. Here are my notes on the chapter. (It only has six verses.)

Isaiah 12 (NASB) 1 Then you [singular you, just one, thou] will say on that day, [the day of the coming of the Messiah – see Chapter 11] "I will give thanks [thanksgiving, praise, confession] to You, O LORD; [self-Existent or Eternal; Jehovah, Jewish national name of God -- Jehovah, the Lord.] For although You were angry [literally breathed hard with a flaring nostril] with me, Your anger is turned away, [literally turned back] And You comfort [comfort, ease, also can be translated repent] me.

2 "Behold, God [mighty; especially The Almighty] is my salvation [Yeshua - something saved, i.e. (abstractly) deliverance; hence, aid, victory, prosperity -- deliverance, health, help, salvation, save, saving, welfare – same word as Joshua, or in Aramaic Jesus], I will trust [literally to hide for refuge; figuratively, to trust, be confident or sure, be bold, be secure, sure, carefree, put confidence, make hope, put trust in.] and not be afraid [be startled, fear, be afraid]; For the LORD GOD [What is translated Lord God here in the Hebrew is Jehovah twice, once in its abbreviated form and once in the usual form. This is rarely done and little understood. One good theory is that it is meant to emphasize His self-sufficiency.] is my strength [strength in various applications, force, security, majesty, praise, boldness, loud, might, power, strength, strong.] and song [instrumental music; by implication, praise, song], And He has become my salvation." [Yeshua again]

3 Therefore you [plural you, many, y'all, for rest of chapter] will joyously [cheerfulness, welcoming, gladness, joy, mirth, rejoicing] draw [scoop up water or some other liquid] water [plural – waters] From the springs [spring, fountain or well] of salvation. [Yeshua again]

4 And in that day you will say, "Give thanks to the LORD, [all the same as in first verse except you is plural form this time] call [to call out to (i.e. properly, address by name, but used in a wide variety of applications)] on His name [shem - an appellation, as a mark or memorial of individuality; by implication honor, authority, character, famous, infamous, name, renown, report.] Make known [yada - to know (properly, to ascertain by seeing); used in a great variety of senses, figuratively, literally, euphemistically and inferentially] His deeds [exploits, performance, actions, deeds, doings, inventions, occasions (as in events in a life) or works] among the peoples[a people (as a congregated unit); a tribe, troops, attendants; flock, folk, men, nation, people.]; Make them remember [to mark (so as to be recognized like to blaze a trail), i.e. to remember; by implication, to mention] that His name [shem again] is exalted. [to make lofty, especially inaccessible; by implication, safe, strong; used literally and figuratively]"

5 Praise [Praise … in song is a single word in Hebrew, give praise, sing forth praises, psalms] the LORD [Jehovah again] in song, for He has done excellent [excellent things, lifting up, majesty, pride, proudly, raging] things; Let this be known [yada again] throughout the earth [the earth (at large, or a particular a land) -- common, country, earth, field, ground, land, nations, way, wilderness, world.].

6 Cry aloud [to gleam, i.e. (figuratively) be cheerful; to sound clear (of various animal or human expressions)] and shout for joy [to creak (or emit a stridulous sound), i.e. to shout (usually for joy)] O inhabitant [to sit down (literally to sit as judge or to wait in ambush, in quiet); by implication, to dwell, to remain; causatively, to settle, to marry] of Zion [Tsijon (as a permanent capital), a mountain of Jerusalem -- Zion. Where all of God's people gather regardless of nation or heritage, Jew and Gentile alike.] for great [great (in any sense); hence, older; bigger, or better] in the midst [the nearest part, i.e. the center, whether literal or figurative] is the Holy One [sacred (ceremonially or morally); (as noun) God (by eminence), an angel, a saint, a sanctuary -- holy (One), saint.] of Israel [he will rule as God; Jisrael, a symbolical name of Jacob; also (typically) of his posterity: --Israel.]

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Blogless - Sermonless I seem to be more diligent keeping up with my blog, when I do not have a blog where I can post the entries, than when I do. Why is that? Right now I am having trouble coming up with a sermon for tomorrow night. I take sermonizing very seriously. I try to listen very carefully to the urging of the Holy Spirit, and preach what He would have me to preach. Today, I got nothing. It is all quiet on the Spiritual front. When that happens I have some strategies for dealing with it. I am always writing lessons for the Correspondence Courses. So, sometimes I just turn whatever lesson I am working on into a sermon. Another strategy is I just read my Bible at whatever point I am. I read until I find a passage that is "preachable" and that becomes my sermon. A third approach is to look at sermons from the past that I have saved, and "re-preach" one of those. My listeners are constantly changing, so they probably have not heard it before, if it is older than three or four months.

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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Censor Our entire married life one of our most enjoyable activities together have been me reading aloud to my wife. She will sit and do something crafty like crochet a blanket, or work on a doll house, and I will read to her. I can not even begin to remember all the books we have read this way. We have read all six of Jane Austen's novels, some of them more than once, in the last few years. A couple of years ago we read all three of The Lord of the Rings books as well as The Hobbit when the movies came out. That set us on the fantasy genre for awhile. Lately we have been on a mystery kick. We read a bunch of Perry Mason books, and then some more books by the same author, Earle Stanley Gardner, while she was making a blanket for our daughter-in-law's birthday. More recently we have been working on some Nero Wolfe novels by Rex Stout. We finished up one of those today called The League of Frightened Men.

However, I can not recommend these books by Rex Stout and Earle Stanley Gardner. They are full of cussing and graphically described violence. When I am reading to my wife I censor all that out. I believe, most of the time she can not tell when I do it, or maybe she just pretends she can not. I discovered long ago that I can read to myself a lot faster than I can read aloud. When I am reading aloud, if it is easy material, such as fiction, it leaves part of my mind free for mischief. Sometimes when I am reading to my wife I make stuff up, and see how long I can keep it going, before I either run out of material, or my wife realizes I'm no longer reading what is written. I am not able to do that with these books. I have to use the extra processing capacity for censoring.

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

Chess Victory My oldest local grandson won a game of chess off me today. Several years ago my wife gave me a chess set where the pieces are revolutionary war soldiers. I adore looking at it. The rooks are artillery, the knights are cavalry, and the pawns are infantry. The king, queen and bishops are officers. One of my older brothers let me have a red, white and blue chessboard that really goes well with it. It looks very nice. I do not like to play with it, however. The pawns and bishops look too similar. The king and queen are almost impossible to tell apart.

My grand son likes to play with it. He asked to play with it this morning. I said, "No. I can't tell the king from the queen." He reminded me that last time we had put a sticker on the head of the queen. I relented and we played with it. I won the first game. Halfway through the second game I realized that I had been moving both my king and my queen like a queen. I had no choice but to resign. Lest you think this does not count as a win for my grandson, remember it is he who wanted to play with that set. He may have been playing a larger game than me. The third game we played with a standard Staunton set.

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Friday, July 25, 2008

"Awards" Banquet Last night they gave an awards banquet for the volunteers at the hospital. They usually have them on Tuesday evening, so we have been able to avoid them because Tuesday evening is our Jail night. The chaplain coordinator hinted that they changed it to Thursday just so we could go, and gave us two months notice, so we could not come up with an excuse. I'm sure he was kidding about moving to Thursday night just for us, but in the back of my mind there is this niggling little doubt. Anyway I felt socially obligated to attend, so we did. Next year I will have other plans which will consist of planning not to attend.

The food was good. Our table was empty except for us. We know no one, because we go on Sunday, and they all volunteer during the week. The only person there with whom we have frequent contact is the chaplain coordinator, and his table was full. It seemed to make him uncomfortable that we were alone, while every other table was full, but my wife and I loved it. It allowed me to make snide remarks about the speakers, and allowed her to pretend to be shocked by them. It was like a date.

The first speaker was the chief executive of the hospital. He was commenting on how much more the volunteers here do, than at the other six hospitals where he had worked. My snide remark: What's wrong with him? Why can't he keep a job? Then he read the dictionary definition of the word "volunteer." My snide remark: It must be awful to get up in front of 150 people, and have nothing worthwhile to say.

The second speaker was the paid staff member who coordinates all the volunteers. I like her face-to-face, but as a public speaker she is sadly lacking. I heard the terms "diversity," "mentor," "raise the bar," "excellent customer service," "Olympics," "team player," and "go for the gold." I have no idea what she was talking about.

They handed out "awards." Three guys got baseball caps, a few women got little teddy bears with gold colored plastic medallions, some other women got some flowers, (I'm not sure whether they were real or plastic.), my wife and I and forty or so other people got some little lapel pins for giving 200 volunteer hours. I would have rather have gotten a baseball cap, but it looks like I will have to volunteer for several decades, and work for free for tens of thousands of hours, to get a baseball cap. I'm mulling over how bad I want a baseball cap with the name of the hospital on it. Everyone got their picture taken by a photographer, who had a professional looking camera, but used a window to the day light outside as a backdrop, which does not seem to be professional. Maybe her camera adjusts for that somehow.

One of the things I have noticed over the last couple of years is that they hit these volunteers up for financial support all the time. It is not enough that they give hundreds of hours free of charge; they also get dunned for money. I guess they know volunteers are a soft touch. Well, most are. Not me. They mentioned some of the stuff they spend it on. None of it outraged me, but I could not tell you what it was. The only one I remember is the scholarships. They had three kids there from three different high schools, who had just graduated from high school to receive their scholarships. These are four year scholarships, but they have to keep their grades up to keep getting the money. Last year they gave almost $28,000 to eight students, so that works out to about $3,500 a year per kid. Not enough to pay for everything by any means, but it is pretty substantial. The odd thing to me is the grade point averages (GPA) of the kids. The one with the lowest GPA was a 4.0. When I was coming up, that was the best you could get. Now they award extra points if it is a difficult class, so people end up with GPA's of 4.3 and 4.72, etc. That poor kid with only a 4.0 must have really felt stupid. I guess they were trying to make her feel better by pointing out that she was in the top 10% of her class all four years. Is it really possible to get a 4.0 GPA, and not be in the top 10% of your class? Were the other two kids with more than a 4.0 GPA not at the top 10% of their class for one or more of the years they were in school?

Then they had a business meeting about the club that all the volunteers belong to by virtue of being volunteers. They have officers and by-laws and all the trimmings. It was very exciting. Since we were alone at our table, I ate one of the deserts at one of the other places, in addition to my own. The second desert was not as good as the first. Why is that?

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Crud Thursday No More! Some time ago I read that statistics show that people who have more birthday parties live longer, which suggests that the parties cause the longer life. There was some discussion, using this as an example, about how statistics could be used to fool people. It seemed obvious to the writer that it was a clear case of mixing cause and effect. The truth is, at least in his opinion, that people that live longer have more birthday parties because the longer life gives them the opportunity to do so. But I got to thinking. What if he was wrong? How does he know this is true? So I decided since Thursday is just another way of saying "Thor's day," that I would make every Thursday a celebration in my honor. This seemed like a good way to test the theory. If I live longer perhaps it means that it is the number of celebrations that cause the longevity, not the other way around.

I have been having trouble getting the idea off the ground. I can not seem to get people enthusiastic about my grand experiment. No matter how much I promote it, my co-workers never wish me Happy Thursday without being prompted. Nor do they bring me gifts or food on Thursday. This is where you come in. I need you to take up the slack. You need to start sending me Thursday presents. Get them in the mail so that they always arrive on Thursday. If you are short on cash some particular week, I do not mind if you just send me a Happy Thursday card instead of a present, as long as it is not too often. If you are feeling a little reluctant to participate, or mistakenly believe you do not have sufficient funds, remember, my life is at stake here.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Why we do, what we do From time to time we get discouraged by the mountain of mail, the difficult to read hand writing, the endless questions, and what sometimes appears to be an obstinate, intentional, determination to avoid understanding the obvious truth about God's love for us all. But God always seems to send us the encouragement we need to continue. Today we got a letter from one of the inmates. He had accepted Jesus as his Lord in prison, and was having trouble getting his wife to talk to him about God. Several weeks ago he asked us to start sending her the Bible lessons. She has been responding to the lessons. In his letter today he told us that the nature of their conversations has been transformed. They now talk enthusiastically with each other about Jesus and living the Godly life. He gave us, and our lessons, the credit. I know it was the Holy Spirit, but it is still very encouraging to be included in the process.

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Forgetful This morning one of the men I car pool with forgot not only his state ID badge, which he leaves at home about once a week, but this time he did not have his driver's license either. (Usually if we forget our badge we can go through a ritual with the guards using our Driver's license, and get into the building anyway.) My carpool partner realized he was without both as we were going from the car to the building. I had driven this morning, so being of a naturally sympathetic nature I told him, that if he needed to go back home to get his driver's license, I had a bus schedule, I could loan him. He thanked me, but reminded me his wife was home, and could bring it to him.

When we got inside the guard called him by name, and made some remark about him forgetting his badge again. I could not hear the response, because I was getting on the elevator. As I contemplated the humor of the situation, I ironically forgot he was not with us, and punched the button for his floor anyway. Partially to divert attention from my mistake, I pointed out how funny it was that the guard knew his name, but still could not let him in. It did not work, the other two noticed and laughed at me anyway. One of them also pointed out to me that the guard had no way of knowing whether or not our forgetful carpool partner was fired yesterday. (Why is there no way to turn off a floor selection button after you have punched it?)

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Monday, July 21, 2008

Dog fight? One morning last week while I was waiting for the other members of my car pool to show up, I witnessed an interesting confrontation between two mockingbirds and six crows in the parking lot of a large church where we meet. I first noticed the crows eating on something left in the parking lot. It looked like the trash someone had dumped after not being able to choke down a complete fast food meal. As I was looking at the crows, a mockingbird suddenly dove at them, evidently trying to peck one of them as he passed. The crows took to the air to escape the attack. Then they started working on each other. When both sides were airborne they avoided each other. When the crows were on the ground the mocking birds would dive at them, and the crows would fly away. When the mocking birds would land, the crows would walk towards them aggressively, and the mocking birds would fly away. Eventually the crows all flew away leaving the battle ground to the mocking birds. I do not know whether this was because they really gave up, or because the food was all gone. All this caused me to wonder why they call a battle between airplanes a "dog fight." Wouldn't "bird fight" be more apropos?

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Woman tries to shoot mice with .44 magnum. Shoots self and another person instead. Potter Valley, Calif. (AP) -- A Mendocino County woman who was trying to kill mice in her trailer with a gun ended up shooting herself and another person.

Sheriff's officials say the 43-year-old woman pulled out her .44-caliber Magnum revolver after she saw the mice scurrying across the floor of her trailer on Highway 20 in Potter Valley.

But she accidentally dropped the gun, which went off as it struck the floor. The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, bounced off the keys sitting on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer and grazed the man's groin before ending up in his coin pocket.

No mice were injured in the incident.

I'm not making this up. See cbs2.com/watercooler/Potter.Valley.Mice.2.766121.html

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