Saturday, June 28, 2008

Content From time to time I get discouraged at the apparent lack of progress I seem to be making towards a "full time ministry." But then I remember, I am in full time ministry.

Some ministries are Levitical. That means they are like the Levi priests in the old testament - they get their living from the offerings people make to God, like the preacher or other paid staff of a church. This is the kind of ministry most people mean when they say "full time ministry." But there are at least two other kinds.

There is a "raven" ministry, where they simply go to God in prayer and God supplies them. It is taken from 1st Kings 17 where Elijah is fed by ravens. George Mueller had this kind of ministry. Mark & Ginger Lang of Mustard Seed Outreach have this kind of ministry. (Mark helps in the jail worship services on Tuesday nights.)

Another kind of ministry is a "tent maker" ministry where the minister works to support himself. It is taken from Acts 18 where Paul and Aquila supported their ministry by working as tent makers. That is the kind of ministry I have. It is the kind of ministry Lee Hockaday has. (He also helps on Tuesday nights, plus he is answering all the Spanish responses we have to our Bible Correspondence lessons.)

Several people make "raven" contributions to our ministry. Without these contributions we would not be able to pay for all the Bibles, postage, and literature we use. I am deeply grateful for these contributions. I am content to be in the kind of full time ministry God has given me.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Blue Moon Somehow or other the term "blue moon" came up. A blue moon is when you have two full moons in the same calendar month. The claim was made that this only happens about four times a decade. Seems like to me it would happen more like once a year, but I have not really put a calculator to it. Why do I even care about this?

Hospital Service June 22, 2008 Census rebounded a little, although not quite up to the level it was three weeks ago. However, neither of our usual helpers were there to recruit attendees, so our attendance was still low. Two staff brought three patients each.

We sang, my wife played, and I preached about witnessing from Acts 26:4-23. Upstairs in lock-up we started out with one person. We sang some hymns. I don't mind preaching to one or two people, but it makes some people uncomfortable, so I give them a choice. She was clearly not interested in me sermonizing, so I sat down at the table and played "stump the pastor" where I just let her ask me questions. Then people started drifting in and sitting down. We had a nice discussion about hypocrisy in the church, Old Testament vs. New Testament, answered prayers, and lives changed by salvation and the work of the Holy Spirit. There were five patients before we were done.

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Monday, June 23, 2008

The end of the world A recent question I got:

They are getting ready to do this. Can you explain what it means?

MOSCOW. - A black hole will appear in mid-July on the border between France and Switzerland, swallowing up first Europe and then the entire planet. Such are the apocalyptic forecasts being made ahead of the scheduled launching, in three weeks, of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). ...

My answer: They are going to shoot some very small particles, tiny compared even to atoms, very quickly at something and see what happens. They do this all the time in physics experiments. They have been doing it for decades. What is different about this is that they are shooting them much faster. Somebody came up with a theory that they might accidentally form a black hole, which would very quickly suck everything within a few billion miles into the space normally occupied by a golf ball. Most physicists are laughing at the theory, but the people that believed it were able to convince a judge to hold up the project for a few months so it could be discussed. It would, after all, be pretty uncomfortable for us all to be crowded into such a small space, especially since the sun might also be included. The physicists have prevailed in court, and they are going to turn it on soon. If it turns out chicken little was right after all, I'll meet you by the pearly gates.

What the Bible says about playing "Ain't It Awful", (one of my favorite games):

Ecc 7:10 "Do not say, 'Why is it that the former days were better than these?' for it is not from wisdom that you ask about this."

I might need to come up with a new favorite game, huh?

Scriptures that remind me of movies:

Ecc 9:4: "A living dog is better than a dead lion."

Movie: Second Hand Lions

I meant to make this into a whole list, but after a week of thinking about it, not one other possibility has come to mind.

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

This month in History From a letter I wrote in June, 2006: I went to the doctor and gave them a blood sample, today. No results yet but I had fun teasing the nurse. After she got in a good mood, I preached her my standard little sermon about blood which she seemed to enjoy.

When I first heard that the blood of Christ cleanses us from all sin I had trouble understanding it. I used to clean a butcher shop and my experience was that blood causes stains, it does not cleanse anything. It is about as far from being a cleansing agent as anything I can think of. Then I realized that the blood in the butcher shop was dead. Jesus Christ is resurrected from the grave. His blood is still alive and flows through His body, the church, cleansing us of our guilty stains just as our own living blood flows through our bodies delivering oxygen and nutrients and carrying away carbon monoxide and other waste products.

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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Prayer Request Please pray for our ministry. The growing number of students is at once fulfilling and overwhelming. What is even more satisfying is the growth we see toward Christian maturity in the people taking the courses. We want to be able to continue to answer the lessons in a timely way without sacrificing the quality of our responses.

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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Which is better for controlling behavior?
    (A) Physical pain over a short period of time.
    (B) Psychoactive drugs.
    (C) Emotional pain and mental distress over a long period of time.

Which would you prefer done to you?
    (A) Getting beat with a cane or whip.
    (B) Being drugged into passivity.
    (C) Being locked in a cage for a very long time while others raised your children, took care of your family obligations, and had fun with your friends.

Whatever your answer you must realize that other people may answer these questions differently. So what does the phrase, "cruel and unusual punishment," mean? I'm sure I do not know. I do know we are in the midst of a great experiment that is failing. (C) is not giving us less criminal activity, and (B) is not producing better children.

Insanity has been called doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. By this definition, as a culture and civilization, we are clearly insane.

Movie Reviews: of recently seen movies

The Tin Man - A mixture of the books "The Wizard of Oz" and "Magical Mimics in Oz" with a few plagiarized ideas from Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings. It is an over four hour long, made for HBO, movie. It has a tiny bit of unnecessary foul language and mildly immodest women. It is for an adult fantasy/science fiction buff, not children. I enjoyed it, but I do not think I'll ever want to see it again.

I Flunked Sunday School - Funny and inspiring story about the adventures of a "personal preacher." I enjoyed it very much and would like a copy for my library.

New Narnia Movie - Prince Caspian - Better than the book! The book is too much talk-talk, and not enough action. It is my least favorite of the seven books. I was afraid the movie might kill the series, but I think it will do well. They left out most of the talk and added some action. Go see it, if you can.

Indiana Jones IV I have not seen it, but I am hearing bad things about this movie. Apparently it glorifies the theory of evolution and is no where near as good as the earlier versions. I'm losing my enthusiasm to go see it. Please correct me if I am wrong. I was planning to see it.

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Monday, May 26, 2008

Where does the time go? My blogging time has evaporated. Not only are we getting a lot of mail from Bible Correspondence students, but some of them have caught up to me in their lessons, and I am having to write new lessons, before I can respond to them.

We are looking for places in our lives to save time. Even spare minutes have come under scrutiny, looking for ways to bunch them together, so they can become useful. We have abandoned our Sunday evening Bible study at the church. We will have it at 11:30 in the morning instead. This will save us the time of having to go home and come back out. We'll just stop by FCA on our way home from the hospital. We are going to lose one of the two people who come, but it can not be helped.

If you could answer one lesson a week, it would help. We have a series called Basic Christianity that any mature Christian could respond to. Please prayerfully consider it.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Greek Lesson Most of the time our translation in our Greek class does little more than confirm the translators of the English versions do a good job, while giving us some practice. On Thursday we had one of those verses where delving into the Greek adds some clarity not so obvious in the English. We were translating First John 2:29 which in the NASB reads, "If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone also who practices righteousness is born of Him." KJV renders it, "If ye know that he is righteous, ye know that every one that doeth righteousness is born of him."

There is nothing wrong with these translations, but there is a couple of things that are not evident in the English that are evident in the Greek. First of all, the two mentions of the word "know" do not show that it is actually two different words in the Greek, oida and ginoskw. Second, the final verb is in the passive voice. A more wordy rendering that tries to capture all this might be; "If you perceive that He is righteous, you understand that those who practice righteousness are brought into that condition by His efforts, not their own."

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Saturday, May 3, 2008

Constantine A friend loaned me a copy of the movie Constantine. It is rated R, so I was cautious about viewing it. The R rating is for graphic violence and foul language. I understood it to be about spiritual warfare with a Christian theme, so I gave it a try. It is an interesting story well told. The acting was competent, but not great. The demon graphics were excellent. If you are prone to nightmares do not watch this movie.

The movie is a myth out of Eastern mysticism dressed in Christian symbols. Good and evil are depicted in typical Hollywood style as equal and opposite. This is the Yin-Yang worldview, not the Christian world view. In reality, evil has a temporary dominance, which is soon to be swallowed up in the total victory of good. In the movie certain artifacts have power, like the characters are all some kind of a wiccans. In reality God has the power. In the movie John Constantine (note his initials are the same as Jesus Christ) redeems himself by sacrificing himself for someone else. In reality we are redeemed by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. In the movie we are told that someone can not get forgiveness without asking for it. In reality our forgiveness has already been achieved as testified by the resurrection of Jesus Christ. What is lacking is not God's forgiveness, but our repentance.

In the movie Satan decides to let someone free of hell to go to heaven in order to pay back a favor. Satan has no such authority. And that old liar would never pay back a favor. The movie shows the angel Gabriel as conflicted and envious of humans. In reality Gabriel is 100% God's, and has his attention on us only as God directs him. Also Gabriel is a him, not a her. In the movie suicide is said to be a mortal sin that sends one who commits it straight to hell. In reality, the destiny of people who commit suicide depends on their relationship with Jesus Christ, not their actions, just like everyone else.

Please do not take this to mean I hated the movie. Except for the blood and cussing, it is no more evil than the Wizard of Oz, and I watch that with my grandchildren. Yes, it is full of lies, but that is no surprise. Hell's headquarters on earth is in Hollywood. But, God help me, I do enjoy a good movie.

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

Bugs and Buggy I have to go to the office where the hospital operator works to get a key on Sunday mornings. They have put up signs everywhere that says on June 1st the hospital will be tobacco free. The maintenance man was also in the office when I went down there. I asked them if the signs were serious. Starting June 1st, no smoking anywhere, not even outside. What they do now is take the patients outside for smoke breaks several times each day. That is going to end. So, now, in addition to what ever problems they have, patients will go through nicotine withdrawals while they are hospitalized. We decided that it was going to be really buggy around there. (For the idiomatically challenged, buggy means crazy. For the humor challenged, remember what kind of hospital it is.)

They thought that was a lot funnier than I did. I looked at them questioningly. That brought them back to what they had been laughing about when I walked in. It seems someone had just called and said, "A bug just bit me on the forehead, and I do not know what it is." They were making jokes about what she wished she could have said.

"And?"

"Hold your cell phone camera up to it, maybe I can identify it."

"Well, bite him back."

"You are probably going to die! Better call 911."

"You need to immediately wrap you head with duct tape and go to the nearest emergency room."

Just something to think about next time you call someone for help.

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Light Bulbs I received an e-mail today that said this: "If you are using the new smart light bulbs are you aware that they contain mercury? The only problem with that is if you break one and then you have to decontaminate - and disposal of burned out bulbs has to be done in hazardous waste. Please be careful - especially if you have children."

Am I only one who sees "smart" as a misnomer?

It reminded me of the neighbor we had, when we lived on Ordway Place in the 1980's. I do not think we ever learned her real name. We always called her the "Light Bulb" Lady. It was not because she was particularly bright. In fact, she was quite the opposite. The first time we ever met her was when she knocked on our door. It was in the evening. I forget who answered the door, but the entire family was soon at the door.She said, "Light bulb."

"I'm sorry, what?"

She said, "Light bulb."

"Light bulb? What about a light bulb?

She said, "Light bulb."

"I do not understand what you are trying to tell us."

She said, "Light bulb."

"Do you mean you would like to borrow a light bulb?"

She said, "Light bulb."

We gave her a light bulb and she went away. We had a few other interactions with her during the few months she lived nearby. I do not remember any particulars, but nothing ever happened to change my original impression, that she was not too bright. Her condition could have been caused by absorbing too much mercury, I suppose. However, now, looking back at it from the wisdom of many years, I must admit, she is the one who walked away with a free light bulb. I got nothing.

Breakfast & My Run for President This morning I took my oldest local grandson to IHOP for breakfast. We had eggs, sausage, bacon, hash browns, and pancakes. He told the lady at the cash register it was almost as good as his grandmother's cooking. He emphasized the "almost." She smiled real big and said thank you. He wanted to work with his father today, so his father met me at a gas station on his way to a job, and took him.

My grandson told me that he won awards at school at the quarterly awards ceremony. He got an award in math. I am proud of him. He also won an award for not being tardy. Shouldn't the parents get that award? Well, I am proud of them all.

I went to the post office to mail a few things and it was five minutes before opening. There was a bunch of other people waiting and we played a rousing game of "ain't it awful." Complaint number one was the price of gas. I told them I saw a hot air balloon on my way to work one morning this week, and decided it must be the replacement for the traffic helicopter in order for them to save gasoline. They were complaining about taxes. I suggested that it might be better if we took turns paying taxes. I could pay them one year, the next person in line the next year, etc. This started a movement to have me run for president. We were discussing who my campaign manager would be, when the post office opened, and everyone lost interest. That is what's wrong with this country. No one takes politics seriously anymore.

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Re-Entry Specialist I just spoke with a Re-Entry Specialist, who works for the VA. "What is a 'Re-Entry Specialist?'" you ask. I am glad you asked. Her job is to help former inmates, who are also veterans, to adjust to life on the outside. One of the Bible Correspondent students wrote me a letter last month asking me to call her to let her know he was getting out. I did call her, but he did not get out. I called her back a week or two later to let her know he did not make it. I left her a voice mail with the information about him and asked for her mailing address so I could add her to our "Get Out of Jail Planning Guide." She just called back and gave me her mailing address and is going to mail me some brochures that she uses with the former inmates to help them "re-enter." I hope, they will have some information, I can use for our planning guide.

The Re-Entry Specialist has visited our common acquaintance in the jail since his disappointment. She said he was doing as well as could be expected. One of the hardest things to adjust to in this ministry is the constant cycle of growing hopes of liberty followed by crushing disappointment. As terrible as it is to watch, I am sure it must be worse to live it. The reason she took so long to get back to me was her husband had an operation. Please pray for a speedy, uncomplicated recovery for him.

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Fun Training Class Today I had my yearly mandatory training on document retention. It only has two points, but it takes them an hour and a half to make them. First, remember that anything you write on a computer can not really be erased, especially if you put it on a server or send it in an e-mail, so be careful what you say. It might become public. Second, the electronic files you create may be needed in a later lawsuit. Be careful to not erase them.

You can not erase them. Do not erase them. Hmmm. Am I the only one who sees a contradiction here?

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Boys are Gone My younger daughter and her husband came over to watch the boys, while we went to the hospital. We can not take visitors with us on the lock-up ward, so we could not take them with us. When we got home she had a nice dinner ready for us. It was really good. We had a good visit with her and her husband, while the boys finished watching The Lord of the Rings with "real people." My older daughter and her oldest daughter appeared to collect the boys a few hours earlier than expected, so we all got to have a pleasant visit with her, and hear about her trip etc. Everyone is gone, now. All is quiet. I enjoyed the boys being here, but I am about wore out.

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Saturday, April 12, 2008 6:30 PM

Tuckered Out After lunch I took the boys outside for a couple of hours. Mostly I watched them on the playground, but we started and ended with a walk. I even ran a foot race with them once. I hope I never have to catch one of them. I do not think I would be able to catch him. Three little girls were also out there for about 45 minutes . They are apparently visiting their grand parents today as well. Anyway one of them called the man downstairs Grand Pap. You would think my two grandsons and the three girls did not even know each other existed. When the girls were on the playground the boys were climbing trees. When the girls were throwing sticks in the stream the boys were on the playground. When the girls were climbing trees the boys were digging with sticks.

Finally, I realized the were very deliberately avoiding each other. I suggested to my grand sons they try to make friends. The older politely declined. The younger went over to one of the girls and asked her if she wanted to be friends. They exchanged names and the little girl ran off in a flurry of shy embarrassment. I think I was able to convince my youngest that he had done everything just fine. It was not his fault.

The boys found out that there is a version of the Lord of the Rings that is not cartoon. I thought they had seen it before, but perhaps they have forgotten. Well nothing will do now, but watching it. I am regretting buying the extended versions. It is lasting forever. The youngest is now running around pretending to be Gollum, saying things gutturally.

Saturday, April 12, 2008 8:00 AM

Wisdom of Grandparents At breakfast my wife explained to the grand sons that the way to keep pancake syrup from running into your sausage, bacon and eggs is to put a napkin under the side of the plate that has them on it. (I love it when the grandkids spend Friday night. Saturday breakfast is always so much better. Did I mention the ice cream and cookies for desert last night?) It seems to me that it would be more economical to just eat the pancakes first, lick the plate, and then put the sausage, eggs, and bacon on it. It would save the cost of the napkin.

The youngest is missing some teeth. It looks like five, but it is probably only three. A comment was made, that suggested a person with missing teeth was funny looking. I explained that the people in our family are so good looking, that they are still handsome, even with missing teeth. He assured me that he already knew that.

Confessions of a Couch Potato The original title of this entry was, "Observations of the Hunted," but then I realized how many of my blog entries have me prominently placed on the couch, and decided to re-title it. I used to deliver for a corner drugstore on a bicycle when I was a teenager. One of the hazards of my occupation was neighborhood dogs. They believed I was something to be hunted down and at least mauled, if not killed. One of the things I observed early on was that their target of choice was my ankle. If they barked they were easy enough to deal with it. When they got close I would leap off my bike, pick up my bike, and hit them with it. I also noticed that even the ones that did not bark could not help but release a guttural growl just as they began to open their mouth to bite. I learned to listen for it. When I heard it, I would simply kick with the foot on the side I heard the growl, and likely as not would connect with their snout, or at least only have my shoe bitten. Little boys sneaking up to gig grandfathers snoozing on couches have the same weakness. When they get close they let out an involuntary giggle. What is the proper time to tickle the perpetuator or such a crime? I figure you should tickle them until the third plea for mercy. What is your opinion?

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Friday, April 11, 2008 Late Evening

More About Visiting Grandsons During supper we were having a conversation about the meaning of the word "cook." We were eating little pizza like things.  My wife takes bagels and puts pizza ingredients on them and then bakes them. They are delicious. Well it seems that the boys were allowed to put the ingredients they wanted on their bagels. They were being polite, as they usually are, and were thanking their grandmother for cooking their supper. She reminded them they had cooked their own. The youngest said that since she was the one who put them in the oven, she was the one who "cooked" them. We tried to explain to him about the range of sense of the word cook. Cook can mean the person in charge of the kitchen. It can mean heating food. It can also mean any food preparation done in the kitchen. But we misspoke, and said something like, it can also mean anything done in the kitchen (to differentiate it from just heating the food). The youngest said, "Oh, so if you knock yourself in the head in the kitchen, you are cooking." I was so proud. Just like his grandfather!

Borimir Later we were watching a cartoon version of Lord of the Rings. Every time there was a battle scene on the TV, the boys had to grab their plastic weapons, and join the fight. One of them was playing Aragorn and the other Gandalf, so they were always fighting imaginary orcs and not each other. It was as fun as a three ring circus. There were body parts and blood everywhere, but none of it real. I was Treebeard, but I'm going to have to change to something else before tomorrow. I think Treebeard actually does something on the second disk, and I much prefer staying on the couch spectating. I know! I'll be Borimir. He is already dead. I should be OK unless they show a flashback.

Friday, April 11, 2008 Late Afternoon

New Employee We just got a new person in our group. She has been working for the state about as long as I have, but on another part of our floor. She now reports to the same boss as I do, and has moved into the cubicle next door. She is Chinese. She has been in this country a dozen years, but still struggles a little with English - particularly idiom, humor, and sarcasm. I love "fish out of water" stories, and now I am getting to watch a real one, up close. I have taken it as a personal challenge to teach her more about English idiom, humor, and, of course, sarcasm. I am having fun. Today we learned the difference between these:
Calling them up - calling them on the telephone or bringing a spirit back from the dead during a séance, depending on context
Calling them out - inviting them outside for a fist fight
Calling them names - insulting them
Calling them on the carpet - to bring a subordinate person into a conference for them to explain their poor behavior or performance. Comes from a time when the boss had the only office with a carpet
Calling them on it - from poker, it means to make them show the cards they are holding in their hand, to show what they actually have on their side of the conflict or discussion. The idea is that you believe they are bluffing; that they are pretending they have more going for them than they really do. This also expressed as "calling their hand" or "calling their bluff."
Calling them - shouting their name to get their attention or to get them to come to you. It can also mean calling them on the telephone, depending on context.
Calling them forward - for recognition, to accept a diploma or award
Calling them like I see them - from sports' referee analogy, it means speaking the plain, complete, and honest truth from your perspective, even when others might disagree

Yet another fun meeting We are changing one of the contractor companies we use. Yesterday we had a big meeting with the new contractor. One of their big shots got up and bragged about his integrity. I have trouble trusting people who feel the need to tout their own honesty. One of their people did a demonstration of a piece of software, that they use to manage their projects. One of our people tactfully made us all aware that it was about 6 years out-of-date by asking them the version number. They told us that they would update it, if and when they could get their budget approved. Another one of their people got up, and told us, that she felt sure they would be able to hire someone soon, who knew something about our systems. (I'm not making this up.) Another one of their big shots got up, and talked like he thought, he was our daddy, and we were his fearful, idiot, children. I suppose he realized that there might have been a couple of things in the meeting that might have given us a few misgivings about the future. I guess, he figured we needed some kind of reassurance, that all would be well. Somehow sappy paternalism was not very comforting, not that I was distressed. Well, they had good cookies, and the meeting ended on time.

Visiting Grandsons My two local grandsons are here for a visit. It is always good to have them. They are watching a cartoon right now. They are going to be here until Sunday night, so we should have plenty of time to play games or something fun.

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Monday, April 7, 2008

Man's Best Friend Last night when we got home from church there was a message waiting on my voice mail. It was a male voice saying, "This is … yappy little dog barks in background drowning out the human voice … calling. I just wanted to let you know that I am … dog barking … so that you can … dog barking … me. Hope you and my wife are doing OK." I did not recognize the voice. No problem. I can always get the number that they called from, right? I looked in my missed calls directory on my cell phone, but I do not recognize the number whose time corresponds with the message. I called the number. No answer, not even from a voice mail robot. (Or is that robotess? Have you ever noticed that they are always women? Sounds like a law suit in the making to me.) I tried again a few minutes ago. Still nothing. Well, that did not go very well, did it?

What could it have been about?

[1] "This is an attorney calling. I just wanted to let you know that I am holding a check for you in the amount of five million dollars, so that you can contact me."

[2] "This is a former inmate calling. I just wanted to let you know that I am out of jail so that you can pray for me."

[3] "This is an old friend calling. I just wanted to let you know that I am in town for two days, so that you can maybe get together with me."

[4] "This is collection agent calling. I just wanted to let you know that I am giving you one more chance, so that you can pay up, before I have your legs broken. Call me."

The possibilities are endless and intriguing. I'm hoping for the five million, number one. It is probably the former inmate, number two. An old friend is possible, I suppose, but I do not think so. Unless my wife has a gambling problem I do not know about, it can not be number four.

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Saturday April 5, 2008

Some Thoughts on Aaron Have you ever noticed what Aaron did when Moses came down off the mountain and caught him with the golden calf? Aaron showed an amazing lack of character in his response to Moses. Look at what Aaron said. In Exodus 32:21, Moses asks Aaron to explain himself. In verse 22, instead of taking responsibility for his actions, Aaron changes the subject from his own sin to Moses emotions. He whines for Moses to not be mad. Like that was the issue! Then instead of taking responsibility for his actions, Aaron blames the people. Then in verse 23, Aaron tries to give some of the blame to Moses. Aaron implies if Moses had not been away so long, things would not have gotten out of hand. Finally, in verse 24 Aaron comes up with the worst excuse of all. I put the gold in the fire, and this calf just popped out all by itself. Isn't that strange? Sounds like some three year old saying a purple unicorn is the one who wrote on the wall, Mom.

Addicted to caffeine, again. Between the time change, and one thing and another, I have once again become addicted to caffeine. I hate the two day withdrawal headache I get when I quit caffeine, so I have devised a method to avoid it. I gradually reduce my intake of this legal addictive stimulate over a period of forty days. I have a little jar of instant coffee that holds just enough for twelve cups of coffee, that is, twelve spoonfuls. Every day after I take out a spoonful, I add a spoonful of decaf and mix it up. The mathematics of the plan showing percentage of normal level of caffeine in my cup each day are in the chart below.

91.9%

Apr 4, 2008

31.7%

Apr 17, 2008

12.3%

Apr 30, 2008

84.5%

Apr 5, 2008

29.3%

Apr 18, 2008

11.5%

May 1, 2008

77.7%

Apr 6, 2008

27.1%

Apr 19, 2008

10.8%

May 2, 2008

71.5%

Apr 7, 2008

25.1%

Apr 20, 2008

10.1%

May 3, 2008

65.8%

Apr 8, 2008

23.3%

Apr 21, 2008

9.5%

May 4, 2008

60.5%

Apr 9, 2008

21.6%

Apr 22, 2008

9.0%

May 5, 2008

55.8%

Apr 10, 2008

20.0%

Apr 23, 2008

8.5%

May 6, 2008

51.4%

Apr 11, 2008

18.6%

Apr 24, 2008

8.0%

May 7, 2008

47.3%

Apr 12, 2008

17.3%

Apr 25, 2008

7.6%

May 8, 2008

43.6%

Apr 13, 2008

16.1%

Apr 26, 2008

7.2%

May 9, 2008

40.2%

Apr 14, 2008

15.0%

Apr 27, 2008

6.9%

May 10, 2008

37.1%

Apr 15, 2008

14.0%

Apr 28, 2008

6.6%

May 11, 2008

34.3%

Apr 16, 2008

13.1%

Apr 29, 2008

6.3%

May 12, 2008

If you want to check my arithmetic, you will need to be aware that decaffeinated coffee really is not decaffeinated. It contains about 3% of the caffeine that regular coffee does. I realize I am revealing one of the bizarre parts of my personality. I mean, who would sit down and figure out such a thing in such detail? However, I tried this last year after time change and it worked pretty well. Oddly, I still get the withdrawal headache when I quit altogether, but it is not as severe and does not last as long.

Answers from Students One of the questions I ask on the quiz about Philemon is for them to identify who is the master, and who is the slave. Philemon is the Master, Onesimus is the slave. This is the correct and expected answer, however, some other interesting answers were "discovered" by some of my more creative students:
(A) Christ is the Master, we are the slave
(B) Philemon is the Master, Onesimus is the slave and they are both slaves to the Lord God
(C) Paul is the prisoner and Christ Jesus is the master.
In the context of a quiz about the content of Philemon these answers are technically incorrect, but I find them thought provoking. Well, I guess B is correct and thought provoking.

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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

No Fooling A blog I read described overcoming writer's block using a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters as a metaphor. The idea was that if she typed long enough, something worth reading would eventually appear. She was not advocating evolution theory or anything like it, but this idea is a psychological button of mine, that when pressed, usually produces a rant like the following:

There is an old argument used by evolutionists that if you set a million chimpanzees typing on a million typewriters for millions of years eventually they would produce the great American novel. Their argument is based on the mathematics of statistics and probability and for over a century it seemed unassailable. Turns out they were wrong. :)

In the last few years a new branch of mathematics has developed called chaos theory. Chaos theory is used to mathematically describe randomness. It is very useful for building computer models for predicting the weather, certain special effects for movies, etc. It turns out that randomness actually does not exist, at least not in the way we think of it intuitively. Randomness follows certain rules. The monkeys will not produce one readable page, let alone a whole novel, not if they are truly random. The typewriters prevent true randomness because they force the monkeys to type in straight lines with all the letters oriented correctly with each other.

Consider this thought experiment. Imagine taking the three or four lines of your mailing address and writing each letter, number, and punctuation mark onto one side of a little block of wood shaped like a cube. Leave the other five sides blank. Now arrange them on a table top in three or four nice even lines so that your address can be read. Next sweep them all into a cup and toss them back on the table top like so many dice. The wooden blocks will form a glob on the table. Do that several trillion times and the blocks of wood will never form your address again. They will occasionally end up with all the written faces, face up. They will never arrange themselves in three or four straight lines, let alone in the correct order to form your address. The reason is that in God's universe, even randomness, so-called, follows certain laws or rules. The tossed cubes will always form a glob, never straight lines.

It turns out all this can be described mathematically. It is over my head. There is probably only a few hundred people in the world, who completely understand it. However, I became convinced not only by the thought experiment above, but when I was doing some experiments with my computer trying to help one of the men in my church understand the Biblical numerology he was into, was a hoax. It is too complicated to explain here, and this has already become lengthy, and I fear boring.

I have done some reading about this and it turns out that mathematically a DNA molecule is like a set of encyclopedias with each letter, number and punctuation mark carved on one face of a cube. Neither DNA, nor a novel, can be reproduced by accident once the cubes that form them have been swept off the table into a bucket. Mathematically an entire living organism is like the Library of Congress with each character written on a block, and the monkeys throwing dice will never produce three readable lines, let alone a book or a library. This means that it is a mathematical fact that life is not the result of anything random. The evolutionists are going nuts trying to keep it out of the public schools. So far the judges involved have all been math idiots, so they have been successful in keeping it out. But, praise God, the truth has a way of becoming known.

I thought this would be an appropriate Atheist Day blog entry.

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