Trip Report We have returned from our trip to visit our son and his family. We had a really great time. It was so good to see them all. We had not seen them since before Christmas, 2006. I think they were glad to see us as well. They certainly made us feel welcome. A special thanks to the grandchildren who were kind enough to let me win all those chess games. They were not as generous when it came to Stratego and Trivial Pursuit, but I suppose they did not want me to get a big head.
Thursday, March 20 Sometime shortly before the sun came up, our
oldest daughter came and gave us a ride to the airport. They loaded us on the
airplane more or less on time, and then things started to go wrong. They
announced that the auxiliary power unit was broken. They said we did not need
it, but that they had to fill out some paperwork before they could take off.
They said it would take about five minutes. If they do not need it, why does
the airplane have one? Does American Airlines really pay the fuel costs for
their airplanes to haul a piece of equipment around, which is not needed? I
could just imagine the conversation between the pilot and the maintenance man.
Maintenance man: You are crazy, man, you can't go to
Dallas without it.
Pilot: I'll only need it if the main power goes out.
Maintenance man: How do you know that won't happen?
Pilot: I have an appointment with my psychologist in Dallas, and I really need
to see him. I've been having panic attacks again.
Maintenance man: What's the problem?
Pilot: My fear of flying and of heights.
Maintenance man: If you want to fly without your auxiliary power unit, you will
need to sign a waiver. I'll not be responsible.
Pilot: Ok.
They announced several more times that it would only be five more minutes of paperwork. After about twenty minutes we began to taxi. Then they announced that we needed to have our wings de-iced. The pilot complained that the Nashville airport only had one de-icer. After another twenty minutes we finally took off.
The flight to Dallas was pleasant and uneventful. When we landed they
announced that our gate was occupied by another airplane. We had to wait
another ten minutes until they pulled out. I can just imagine the conversation
between the pilot and the control tower.
Tower: What are you doing here? We heard you had an auxiliary power unit out.
We thought you were not coming and gave your gate away.
Pilot: We came without it.
Tower: You are crazy, man. You'll have to wait while we try to find a gate for
you.
Pilot: Have you been talking to maintenance in Nashville? How did you know I
was crazy? That is private information. I'm going to sue somebody.
We only had thirty minutes to get to our gate which turned out to be about
twenty-five gates away. That is not bad in Dallas. I walked to it. My wife told me later she had to run to
keep up with me. Oops. Sorry. The four hour flight to Seattle/Tacoma was
pleasant and without noteworthy event, and only a few
minutes late. We arrived in early afternoon, their time.
Our son was waiting for us at the airport. It was really good to see him. We collected our baggage and drove to his house. It is a really pretty area of the country. We arrived and saw the rest of the family. It was so good to see them all. The children had grown considerably. We were just in time to go watch the middle son play in a soccer game. His team won two to one. He scored one of the points. He was one of the better players on the field. He settled and controlled the ball before kicking it. Most of the rest of them just flailed away while it was still in motion, and then wondered why the ball did not go in the expected direction. The rest of the day we relaxed. The two grand-daughters gave up their beds, so we could have comfort and privacy. The older one slept on the couch and the younger in various places.
Friday, March 21 Our son had to work, and the children had to go to school. We were just hanging out and talking about nutrition and gluten intolerance (dun-dun-dah) with my daughter-in-law, when my son called, and invited us to tour Fort Lewis, where he is stationed. We loaded up with the youngest child, who is not in school yet, and drove out to the base. Did I mention already that it is a pretty area of the country? We spent a lot of time driving on roads with huge trees hanging over head. Ft. Lewis has been there a while, and there was some interesting architecture. We got to see some of the Stryker vehicles my son's unit uses. We also got to meet some of the men in his unit. We drove out to a couple of neighborhoods where my son is hoping to move his family this summer. If they make the move, it will save him an hour a day of driving time. We stopped by a rocky beach on Puget sound. My grandson got to see a long train roar by while we were there. He loves trains. We had lunch at a local Quiznos and got some desert at Forza Coffee. (frozen fruit drinks etc.) We stopped back by my son's unit and his boss told him to go home. My daughter-in-law, grand son, and I returned in the van, and my wife and son returned in his jeep. They went four-wheeling someplace on base, so we beat them home by a good bit. The children were coming home from school as we arrived. We spent the rest of the day just relaxing and visiting. I do not know when it was, but my son and a couple of the grand children showed us several card tricks while we were there. Some of them were really quite good. We watched two or three movies while we were there as well.
Saturday, March 22 We went to see Mt. Rainier. The youngest was not feeling well, so my daughter-in-law stayed behind to care for him. That gave the rest of the children a choice of coming with us or not. The girls opted out (although we were later informed in no uncertain terms that the youngest girl had changed her mind, and was rudely left behind). We stopped by Forza Coffee for hot drinks before making the drive up. I had some really good coffee and a cinnamon roll. The rest of the day was visually over whelming. I can not begin to describe all the vistas and beautiful nature scenes we saw. The first place we went was a temperate rain forest at the foot of the mountain. We took a half mile walk on a walking trail. It was beautiful. Then we drove around to a place in the park called Paradise. It was about a two hour drive so we stopped for lunch at a pizza place in a little town near the park. It was called Route 66 and was decorated with old license plates from all over the country. The boys played a game where they tried to find all the numbers from 1 to a hundred in the license plates and signs. The food was really good. We also stopped by an old grave yard and looked at tombstones. As we approached Paradise, there began to be snow on the ground. We had seen a patch or two in the rain forest, but this covered the ground. As we got closer and closer the snow got deeper and deeper. By the time we got there, the snow beside the road was twenty feet deep. I hope to be able to share some photographs with you later. My eyes got full of beauty that day.
Easter He is risen! He is risen, indeed!
We went to church with the family. My daughter-in-law stayed behind with the youngest because he still was not feeling up to par. It was a good worship service. The music was a mix of contemporary and traditional. The sermon was great. He preached on the evidence for the resurrection. I have studied that a good bit, but he was able to come up with a couple of new angles for me, and held my interest. We stopped and got chicken for lunch. Later, my daughter-in-law cooked an awesome spread for Easter dinner. My son hid almost a hundred and fifty Easter eggs in the house for the kids to find. My son hid some eggs on us. One was in my pocket, another in my wife's sock, and another in her hand. They filled their baskets except for the youngest. He would stop and open his whenever he found one. While he was eating the candy the others continued their search and got ahead of him. My wife and I just sat and watched. It was fun. One of the eggs was not found until two days later.
Monday, March 24 Again it was a day of overwhelming visual pleasure. My son was off work. The kids were only in school half a day, so they decided to keep them out to go with us. We drove over to the state capital and looked at the pretty buildings. We had lunch at a Jack-in-Box in Olympia. A crazy guy tried to start a fight with one of the other customers, while we were there. Just about every man in the place surrounded him and invited him to leave. He left. We drove over to the Pacific coast and visited some beaches around a town named Westport. The kids built sand castles and everyone collected sea shells, mostly sand dollars. The final count of sand dollars was over two hundred, I think. My son and the two boys climbed out on a rock jetty several hundred yards. I was too tired to go very far with them. We stayed at the beach long enough to get pictures of sunset over the pacific. On the way home we stopped in Aberdeen and did not have dinner. It was a great day.
Tuesday, March 25 We stayed at home, relaxed and visited most of the day. My son had the day off again. The grand kids kept asking me questions like, "Why are you so sad?" Pictures show me as very old. I was simply very tired. I was actually quite happy. I explained this, and they were satisfied with the explanation, I think. My daughter-in-law met with a couple of the kids teacher's and was informed that they are geniuses who never misbehave, or something like that. In the evening we went to a local Applebee's and had a nice dinner. I was a wonderful trip. I am very proud of all of them. I now have enough recent information to match any grand parent in a bragging match.
Wednesday, March 26 My son took off from work for a couple hours to give us a ride to the airport. The flights home were without unpleasant event or significant delay. We got in conversations with our seat mates on both legs of the trip. The first was a young man from Augusta, Georgia. He is planning to start a car repair business when he gets out of college, and is determined to let God direct his life. The second was a lady on her way to escort a "client" from Nashville to a drug re-hab place in California. Her brother is in prison, and she is going to offer him a chance to sign up for our Bible correspondence courses. We did get into Nashville about twenty minutes late at 11:20 PM. My oldest daughter met us at the airport and gave us a ride home. It was Thursday morning before we got in the bed.
Thursday, March 27 Very tired. Began to work on stack of mail, voice mails, and e-mails.
Friday, March 28 Pretty much got caught up on everything. Still have about twenty correspondence course lessons to respond to. We got a disk of three or four hundred pictures from the trip that my daughter-in-law downloaded from her camera. It takes about an hour and a half to play them on the DVD. Our computers will not read the disk, so it will be a few days before we get that problem figured out, and can share pictures. In the meantime, we can enjoy them on our TV.
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Atheist Day Plans Have you decided yet how you are going to celebrate Atheist Day this year? It is coming up real soon. It comes on a Tuesday this year. Tuesday, April 1, 2008, is Atheist day. I have decided to mark it by taking a break away from blogging and e-mailing for a couple of weeks. Do not be surprised if you do not hear from me again before the big day. See Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53:1. What are you going to do, to commemorate Atheist day?
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A Celebration Today is the 36th anniversary of the day my wife and I met. We met on a blind date. We are going to celebrate by going to jail tonight and having worship with the guys. In a few days we are going to go shopping together for a gift for ourselves to commemorate three dozen years of happiness.
A Survey As we talked over our time together we noted how different each of us have become since we met. For those of you who have known me a decade or more, please tell me which of these you would have considered most improbable back then:
(1) That I would be a preacher ministering in a jail and a behavioral health
hospital.
(2) That I would work for the government and use terms like "behavioral
health"?
(3) That my favorite novel would be Pride and Prejudice and my favorite
movie genre would be romantic comedies?
Of course, it is no surprise that I am still one of my favorite topics of conversation. Some things never change.
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Patrick, the man God used to bring the nation of Ireland to Christ, died on this day in the 5th century. I am a great admirer of him. I believe he would object both to the title "Saint" and the way in which his day is normally celebrated. Saint would imply that he was different or above other men. I believe he was a humble man who attributed his successes to the work of the Holy Spirit. Revelry and having people get drunk to honor him, would have been repugnant to him. It would be too much like a Druid worship service. The Druids were his nemesis.
However, I do try to honor him by trying to remember to wear green on this day. Today I wore a shamrock with a little light in it that flashes. It is about as cheesy as you can get, but it was available, and I was asleep, trying to feel my way to work. I think he would be more honored by each of us making an effort to tell someone about Jesus Christ today. Ireland and Jesus Christ were the great loves of his life.
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A Murder This is the Ides of March. Did you know that March 15th is also called the Ides of March? On this date two millennia ago, Julius Caesar was assassinated. Sometimes I can not remember the way home from work, even driving past the entrance to the apartment, but this little piece information about the Ides of March remains lodged unshakably in my brain like a splinter under a callous. Every year on March 15th, I remember it whether I want to or not. What a waste of neurons. Oh, well, I'm not using them for anything else. Yesterday, I remembered that it was pi day. It is called that because it is 3/14 and the mathematical constant pi is 3.14 etc. You are supposed to eat pie on that day. That is because mathematicians don't know the Greek letter p is pronounced pea, like in green pea, instead of like the desert, pie. Isn't that useful to know? Day after tomorrow is St. Patrick's day. I'm not Catholic and I do not drink, so why do I care? However, there is a good side to this malady. I also remember that this March 18th is the 36th anniversary of my first date with my wife. I'll have to remember to do something nice for my wife that day, if I can find my way home that evening.
I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME I'm tired. I have been tired all week. When they give us an hour at the beginning of winter, we get to sleep late one morning. When they take it back, I have to get up an hour early every morning for days and weeks. It is so stupid. Everyone at work has been walking around yawning and tired this week. We have several people in our department who are in their seventies. (There is no mandatory retirement age at the state.) I walked by one those guy's office this week, and he was sound asleep. I mean head lying on his desk, snoring, drooling, asleep. If the Lord does not put me in full time ministry, I think I saw my future.
Every year I have a plan, whereby in the winter I am going to refuse to accept the hour they give us. I plan to get up at the same sun time, and go to bed at the same sun time, so I will not have to make this adjustment in the Spring. Every year it does not work. Within a few days, often on the first day, I sleep that extra hour, and then it is gone forever. The problem is that it is not just going to bed and getting up. The times for everything else changes - meals, work, meetings, etc. Society has a way of assimilating me back into conformance, and there does not seem to be anything I can do about it. Did I mention that I hate daylight savings time? But that is not the only reason I have been remiss in posting to my blog this week.
Developing New Bible Course We have several dozen men taking our Bible Correspondence courses. I consider that a success, and am very happy about it. However, although most of the men, who come through our services, sign up for the courses, only a minority return the first lesson completed, and fewer still remain in the course long enough to get a certificate. Some of that is inevitable. You can not please everyone. Also, if they get out, which some do, they have other things to do, and all but one has dropped the courses, upon release from jail.
There has been a growing awareness on my part over the last few weeks, that we could do better. I believe the Holy Spirit impressed it on me to write another course. If you look at our courses you will see they start out with "101 - Introduction to the Bible" and advance through "401 - New Testament Greek". The earlier courses are on a high school reading level and the later ones on a college level. I am writing a new series of lessons for a course I am calling "BC1 - Basic Christianity" which is, I hope, on about a sixth grade reading level, while at the same time appealing to a mature mind. I would like for the guys to be able to succeed with at least one Bible study course.
This is an excerpt from the introduction to the course:
In Lesson 1, Salvation, we will try to answer the question "Do we
need to be saved?" and "If so, how may we be saved?" This is the
first step in being a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ.
In Lesson 2, Savior, we will try to answer the question "Who is
Jesus Christ Our Lord?" If we are going to follow Him, we need to know
about Him.
In Lesson 3, Speaking with God, we will try to answer the question,
"How do I talk with God?" or "How do I pray?"
In Lesson 4, Spiritual Society, we will try to answer the question,
"How do I fit in with other Christians?" by talking about loving your
neighbor, and participating in fellowship.
In Lesson 5, Service, we will try to answer the question, "What
does God want me to do?" by talking about worship, praise, stewardship,
and obedience.
In Lesson 6, Scriptures, we will try to answer the question, "How
do I study God's Word?" by talking about the Bible, how it is organized
and ways to help with understanding it.
In Lesson 7, Sin, we will try to answer the question, "If I am a
Christian, why do I still do things wrong?" by talking about dealing with
doubts and confessing our sins to God.
In Lesson 8, Showing Others, we will try to
answer the question, "How do I show others the way to Christ?" by
talking about speaking with people who do not yet trust Jesus as their Savior.
I have written Lessons 1 through 4, and 8. My wife has illustrated Lesson 1, and we have mailed it to one person in the Fiji Islands. Please pray that I finish the course and that if fulfills its purpose.
Besides our students incarcerated in Tennessee, we have enrolled three students in an Indiana prison. (The guy we had in the Oklahoma prison has become unresponsive.) We have enrolled two ladies in Nebraska, someone in North Carolina, someone in Florida, and someone in the Fiji Islands who are all on the outside. (or "free world" as some of the inmates call it.) They heard about our courses by searching on the internet or because of the tracts Tom Hockaday passed out. We only send the courses. We do not send free Bibles or books to people on the outside, only people in jail. We also do not support teaching the courses over the internet. I have thought about it several times, but the Spirit seems to be telling me not to do it. There are plenty of on-line Bible tutorials out there on the internet. I really believe our niche is by mail. We are still praying for our courses to become used in women's prisons.
A Little Miracle A couple of months ago we ordered a couple of cases of Bible Dictionaries to send the inmates. We found them on the Internet at a site where we have ordered books before at a real bargain price. When the books arrived, we discovered they were hard backs, which means we can not send them to the prisoners. Everything we send has to be a soft back. It was our mistake, and we could not send them back without paying shipping and restocking fees. We have been praying about what to do with them for a couple of months. Yesterday, my wife was at a bargain Christian book store at Opry Mills looking for books to send the prisoners. She got into a conversation with the owner, and our problem with the hard back books came up. The owner offered to swap her soft back books for the hard back books. This morning we took the hard back books over to the store, and got a whole lot of real nice books to mail the prisoners. We were prepared to swap two of ours for one of theirs, or something like that, but the lady would not hear of it. It was one for one. We fell all over each other trying to make sure the other side did not get cheated. It was fun and a real blessing.
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Snow Arrived! There is two or three inches on the ground and it is still coming down hard.
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Snow Predicted We are supposed to get 2 to 4 inches of snow overnight. Maybe. We will see. My wife's Dad just called to report they are getting ice 20 miles north of here. They are also at a higher elevation. It is not unusual for him to get snow when we do not. This is like the third or fourth time they predicted a sizeable snow for us. So far just flurries and dustings. Like I said, we'll see.
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Florida Last week we took a trip to Florida. My wife's boss invited us to go with her to Orlando. We left on Wednesday and returned on Saturday. While we were there we went to two theme parks and ate in restaurants a lot. It was a nice break for us.
First we visited Sea World. In addition to several shows with trained water creatures (otters, walrus, sea lions, killer whales, dolphins, etc.) there was also a show with trained pets rescued from local shelters. I was reminded of James 3:7-8 "For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."
We also visited the Holy Land Experience. They had live plays depicting Bible events like the Wedding at Cana, the Last Supper, Jesus' trial before Pilate, the Crucifixion and Resurrection. They also had informational exhibits and shows, like a mock up of the wilderness tabernacle complete with altar, Ark of the Covenant, and all the fixings. The guy who explained it was dressed up like a priest and blew on a shofur for us. My favorite part was the Scriptorium where I saw first editions of the Gutenberg Bible, Wycliff Bible, KJV, Wycliffe Bible, Tyndale Bible, Erasmus Greek New Testament, as well as a good collection of scribal produced texts dating all the way back to the 1st Century.
We had a wonderful time but it put us behind in answering correspondence courses. So we have been very busy since we got back which is why I have been blogless. my wife's boss took a lot of pictures which we hope to eventually post here.
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Philip Carden It is my Dad's birthday. If he were alive he would have been 89.
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Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Answering hard questions A student sent us a question. The “nifty list” he refers to is a list of local ministries and agencies which help people coming out of jail. Here is his question and my response.
QUESTION: "I have tried the places on you nifty list. They will not help. The Nashville Union Rescue Mission will not even talk to you unless you have a picture ID. It's the law. I got angry (I have an anger problem) and threw away the Bible and the lesson. Please send me another one." There was also a lot of stuff in his letter about how the world system was in Satan's grip and it was impossible for him to get anyone to help him. The whole tone of the letter suggested that if I did not immediately take responsibility for solving all his problems I was just one more cog in Satan's machine.
ANSWER:
It was good to hear from you after more than two months. I am sending you
another Bible and the next lesson in the course you were taking. I'm also
enclosing the last letter I sent you with the lesson. I'm also sending another
planning sheet in case you no longer have the other one.
I read your letter with great interest and have been praying and thinking about it a great deal. I think I can help you, if you will listen to me. I believe you have no idea how you come across to other people. I think you would be able to get more help from these various agencies if they knew what a nice guy you are, but I am guessing you hide it from them.
Let's think for a minute about the people that work in the various agencies on my "nifty list." They help a lot of other people, why not you? They, like you, live in this world held in Satan's grip. They, like you, are victims of his lies, his deception, his malice, and his schemes. They are struggling to get through this veil of tears, just like you and I. What leads them to spend a portion of their lives working in such places?
Some of them are falling for the lie of Satan that helping others gives them worth in the sight of God. So they work there trying to get "brownie" points with God. They have little score cards in their minds. The more people they help, the higher their score. If you want the cooperation of these people you must make them believe that you will be easy to help. Do you make them think you will be easy to help?
Some of them are insecure and must have the approval of others to feel good about themselves. Satan is constantly whispering in their ear that they are not good. They become like gratitude addicts. They must have people around them who appreciate them and think they do good. Do you appreciate them and tell them you think they are doing good?
Some of them are so incompetent and stupid that they can not find jobs in "for profit" organizations. They get hired in these low paying positions in charitable agencies, and are tolerated by, and have their shortcomings covered up by, the people around them in the agency, as if they are one more person in need of help. Do you tolerate them? Are you patient with them? Or do you make their shortcomings clear to them, and hurt their feelings in the process?
Some of them are people who were helped by that agency, or one like it, some time in the past, and are trying to pay back a feeling of indebtedness. The people they will most want to help are the ones they think are like them. Do you do and say things that will give them the impression you will feel indebted for help, or do you make them feel like whatever they do, it is just their job, and what is expected of them?
I believe most of them feel called by God to work in such places. They believe that God designed them to work in such a place, and are quite serious about carrying out God's work. However, they are probably, like me, overwhelmed with all the victims around them of this world system of Satan's, and do a sort of triage in their mind, when dealing with the multitude of people who need their help.
Triage is what doctor's do in an emergency room when they get too many patients at the same time. They sort the patients into three groups - those who will survive whether they get attention or not, those who will die whether they get attention or not, and those who will only survive if they get help. They give most of their attention to this third group.
People working in these charitable agencies do the same thing, although they may not be conscience of it. They have to. There are more needs than they can possibly fulfill. When you apply at these places which one of these three groups do they put you in? What can you do to make sure you fall into the third category?
If your letter to me is a sample of how you treat the people in these organizations it is easy to see why you get no help from them. Let's look at your letter to me.
You start by telling me you threw away the materials that I sent you to try to help you. We are not a wealthy charitable agency. We operate on a shoe string budget and every dime has to be watched carefully. You had a fit of temper and dumped it in the trash, and the only thing you can think of to apologize for is not writing to me in a while. Apparently the fact that some people have labeled you as having an "anger problem," makes you feel you are not responsible for what you do. I do not believe that is true. You write perfectly rational letters. Whatever problems you have are your problems, not mine. You are the one who has to live with the consequences of what you do, not me, or anyone else. Until you realize that, and start dealing with it, nothing will change for you.
You call the list I labored to put together a "nifty list" and then proceed to explain to me in no uncertain terms that it is useless. You said, "You must have a current state photo ID in order to register at the mission, period. It's the law…" I used to work there and still have friends there. I called to check what you said about them. You are wrong. They ask for an ID, but they do not turn you away, if you do not have one. That leaves me with two possibilities, either you are trying to con me, or something happened there that made you believe what you said. I do not think you are trying to con me. I do not think it is a deliberate lie. I think this is what happened - they asked you for an ID, and you stormed away in anger before you got the whole story. I'm just guessing, so I could be wrong.
Your whole letter is full of this kind of stuff. You seem to think you are laying out a case for me to go to some effort to get you some kind of special help. Your letter convinces me any such efforts would be useless. Right now you appear to be in category two of triage -- no matter what I do, or who I hook you up with, your attitude will ruin your chances. Until you give up this self-centered notion that you are the only victim of Satan in this world, you can not be helped. We are ALL in the same sinking boat, and instead of trying to help us, you blame us.
If you will listen to me you can change this. Stop looking at the people around you as Satan's agents, and start seeing them as fellow victims. Start trying to figure out how you can help them, and they might start trying to help you.
Write to:
Project Return 1200 Division St, Suite 200 Nashville, TN 37203
and
Reconciliation Prison Ministry 702 51st Ave. N. Nashville, TN 37209
Tell them you are working on your plans for resuming life on the outside and ask them for their help. Ask them nicely.
God Bless You,
Thor
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Sad Last week we found out one of the men we have been ministering to for some time died in prison two days after Christmas. Before he went to prison, he had been a regular at the worship services at the jail. He loved my wife's psaltery, loved to sing, and had an easy smile. Since late summer, when he went to prison, he has been keeping in touch with us regularly by way of the Bible Correspondence courses. When we did not hear from him in several weeks we investigated and found out he had died. I spoke with his grand mother and told him how much of a blessing he had been to us. We cried together.
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Technology in Old Entertainment We watched several Perry Mason episodes yesterday. I like to observe the technology in old shows. These were made fifty years ago and all the old cars and stuff are contemporary. I can sit there and say, "That is a '56 Chevrolet" or "That is a '58 Ford." These days, most of the time I can't tell the difference in the brands let alone the model years, except for a few that are like cars I owned myself.
It is particularly amusing when the show centers around "new" technology. There was one that featured a portable tape machine the size of a large suitcase and a hidden microphone. Perry Mason used a toy magnet to erase a tape. He held it about eight or ten inches away from the tape. To erase a tape at that distance he would have needed one of those electromagnets they use on the cranes in junk yards. The toy he had simply would not have done it unless it was almost touching the tape. It was hilarious.
Another episode featured an elevator operator as a key witness. It is odd to think about needing elevator operators. It used to be the doors were complicated to operate, and even dangerous since they had no safety devices to make them open, if you got hung in them. There was nothing to keep the elevator from going to the next floor and leaving part of you behind. The car door and the floor door were controlled separately, sometimes even manually. It was possible to go up or down with either of the doors open. Also, the elevator would not stop automatically at the right place. They had brakes and the operator had to "drive" to exactly right spot, or you would have to step up or down to get off or on. Hence the oft repeated warning, "Watch your step." Really good operators prided themselves in never having to say that. By the late 1950's most elevators had been updated to solve all these problems, but their were strong unions, and perhaps safety regulations, that kept the operators in place for many years after they were no longer really needed. I can remember having them in some of the elevators in downtown Nashville into the early sixties. What a job. I also remember a freight elevator in the supply warehouse, where I worked in 1970, that had none of the modern safety devices. We opened and closed the doors manually and there were extra controls to make the elevator inch up or down until it matched the floor level closely enough for us to roll our carts in and out.
Dial telephones are also interesting to watch. In Perry Mason they seem to be careful to dial the actual number of digits required. I even watched closely one time, and observed the actor really dialed the number he was given to dial. In other shows they are not always so careful. They will dial two or three digits and a phone on the other end of a large city will ring for them. Simply impossible. In the Andy Griffith show they are also careless. Sometimes they will tell "Sarah", the operator, to connect them to a person by name, sometimes they will give her a three or four digit number, and sometimes they will dial the phone themselves. They are careless about other stuff as well. In one show the local Mayberry liquor store proprietor is a main character and a couple of shows later they are in a dry county. Well, it is a comedy.
Have you ever noticed in modern shows people's telephone numbers always start out with 555? They started doing that in the early 1970's. It seems when people heard a phone number in a TV show or movie, they would try it out, I guess to see if they could talk to their favorite actor or something. It got to be such a problem that if a number appeared in a show it became useless to the person who had that number. The number for information across the United States had been standardized to 555-1212. For some technical reasons of switching efficiency the only telephone number beginning with 555 was 1212. So if you dialed 555 and any other four digits your call went nowhere. I'm not sure whether it was a negotiated agreement or they got a law passed, but the shows started making all numbers start with 555. With solid state switching systems there is no longer a technical advantage to having information be the only number beginning with 555, so I expect the telephone companies are regretting the loss of those 10,000 phone numbers in every area code. For now the custom seems to be holding . We'll see.
Unidentified Yesterday we watched the movie Unidentified. We enjoyed it very much, and I can recommend it to anyone without reservation. You can see a description of it here. There is something about acting in Christian movies. I can not think of a single Christian movie where the actors convinced me. I would like to think it is because since they are Christians, they can not be completely deceptive, but I can not make myself believe it. They apparently have the most difficulty with the bad guys. I am usually left feeling the actor has never met a real bad guy, or that they can not distinguish in their own mind between a lost human being and a demon. The actor playing the bad guy in this movie did a little better job then they usually do, but still not convincing.
In every Christian movie I have ever seen, they seem to come across as actors in a high school play or something. It always seems to take an extra measure of suspending disbelief to get past the acting, even in the movies I really, really, enjoy, like Facing the Giants. I liked Unidentified particularly the surprise ending. But what exactly is the problem with the acting in Christian movies? I can not put my finger on it. Can you?
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A Walk to Forget or "How to Ruin a Good Movie by Talking Too Much." One of the movies I like, or used to like, was A Walk to Remember. I could not really recommend it to anyone else, because it has a really unnecessary raunchy part as well as a little cussing now and then. But I overlooked those things and enjoyed watching the strong Christian character played by Mandy Moore as she went through a trying period of life. The other day (last weekend or the weekend before? or maybe when we were sick) I made the mistake of listening to the commentary track on the DVD.
Apparently Mandy Moore is an empty headed ditz who has no idea what the character she was playing is all about. She was guided in her acting by a talented director who knew how to tell her what to think about, so she could mimic the necessary emotions. When the commentary got to the raunchy part one of the other commentators said, "Christians really hate this part," and Mandy replied, "Why? It is really funny." Apparently none of them knew the answer. Maybe the book would be worth reading, but I do not think I'll watch the movie again. At least, not until the commentary fades from memory, which I hope will be very soon.
Breakfast Out We were too busy to enjoy Valentines Day on February 14th, so I took my wife out to breakfast this morning as part of an extended celebration. We went to a smorgasbord place that wasn't very good, and while we were digesting, I engaged in a little people watching. I noticed there were several people who apparently had not glanced in the mirror before leaving the house. Their hair was awry or they had pillow creases in the side of their face. Then it dawned on me that I had not seen a mirror that morning. This bothered me for a moment, until I remembered that I am one of those blessed people, that always looks good no matter what. Besides I have no hair to be awry and I seldom have pillow creases that last very long.
I did notice one odd, and a little disturbing, vignette. There was a father and daughter there, (I heard her call him Dad), who did not seem to match very well. She was a petite, cute, little girl about ten years old, wearing pinks and pastels, with freckles and nary anything out of place. He was a big ugly hairy man with too many tattoos, mostly of frightening things like dragons. He had a black tee-shirt with a big, scary looking monster on it with two gleaming eyes, that looked directly across the table into, and at the same level, as the little girl's eyes. What was he thinking?
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Coin Laundry Programs I ran coin laundry programs today. I do not mean programs that support coin laundries. I do not mean programs that clean things up. I would submit the program to run, and it took a while, but not in such a way that I could do something else while I waited. It was like being at the coin laundry all day. I had to pay just enough attention to keep things rolling along, but not enough attention to really keep my mind engaged. It was like playing chess with someone who plays very poorly but thinks about his moves for five or ten minutes each. I did not like it.
However, it was way better than crawling under houses through dried snake skins and fresh cat dung to install burglar alarms. It was way better than flying in an airplane to spend a week or three away from my family. It was way better than filling out job applications and interviewing. It was way better than helplessly watching as my upper management laid off a bunch of people who worked for me, that had done a good job. Now that I think about it, it was a pretty good day today.
Gotcha! Besides running coin laundry programs I also went to a meeting today. The lady who called the meeting told us she was leaving her job at the end of the month, and hoped to transfer the knowledge in her head to others before she left. I assumed she was retiring. She seems to need it. We were discussing a computer feed from another branch of the government. Everyone in the meeting freely criticized this other branch for their general incompetence, ineptitude, and inability. At the end of the meeting someone asked the lady who called it, what she was going to be doing after she left her current job. Then she told us she was transferring to the branch of government, we had all been roasting. That was just a little awkward. Do you think she did it on purpose?
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Saint Valentine's Day Like most people given the "Saint" title, I believe the Valentines (I believe there are two Saint Valentines) would be shocked to find they are remembered, let alone celebrated. However, they are doing better than some. Saint Patrick would be appalled at how they celebrate his day. I think the Valentines wouldn't mind their celebration so much, except for the connection with the Roman idol, Cupid. By the way, if you agree to be someone's "Valentine" it means you are committing to be their sweetheart for a full year.
Taking God's Name in Vain In order to be a volunteer chaplain at the hospital once a year I have to be checked for TB. Today was the day. I know you have been worried about me for some time, tossing and turning as you thought about the possibility of me having tuberculosis. However, I digress. On the drive over to have my test checked by the nurse, a man in a huge SUV tried to kill me. He obviously believed me to be an unjustified obstacle on his road. After he finally blew by me at 20+ mph over the speed limit he began tailgating yet another car so presumptuous as to try to use his private road, also known as interstate highway 65-North and 24-West. The other car slowed him down enough for me to see the Christian fish symbol on his bumper. That is why I do not mark my car as clergy etc. I'm afraid I may become frustrated with other driver's and be a poor witness. What do you think? Christian emblems on the car, or not?
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Might be time to clean your rifles boys! Looks like the State of Georgia is planning to invade Tennessee. See story It seems they dispute the survey results from 1818 and believe they are entitled to part of Tennessee. Odd they did not bring it up until they were desperate for water 190 years later.
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Elevator Humor I can not help myself. I have a captive audience and I can not keep from trying to make them laugh. Poor things, trapped on an elevator with me and my corny sense of humor. It probably contributes to a negative reputation for me, but I simply must do it. I work on the second floor, but I still take the elevator. I would take the stairs but the geniuses who designed this building made it so you have to go through two sets of secured doors to take the stairway. That involves juggling whatever I am carrying while I enter a security code on a wall mounted pad and then opening the door. The stairs are seldom used by anyone.
Sometimes when I get on an elevator that is so full I can not easily get to the floor buttons myself, someone will offer to select another floor for me. It's their own fault. They started the conversation. My response differs depending on what is already punched. If my floor is not punched I ask for it and just say thank you. I've been trying to think of a way to inject some humor in that transaction, but have not thought of anything yet. If my floor is already punched I might say, "No, thanks. I am just going to ride up and down for a while." Or, "Five, please." There are only four floors in our building. Or, if we are going up and only two is punched I might say, "No thanks, if I go higher than two, my nose bleeds," or "... than two, I need an oxygen mask," or "Two is where all the best people work."
Sometimes it is the other way around, and I am the one next to the controls and someone else gets on. I'll say, "Can I punch something for you?" which becomes funny, (at least to people like me, who are easily amused), when all the floors are already selected. Not long ago a lady added to my repertoire. Her answer to my question was, "Yeah. How about punching my ex-husband?" Now, when I ask the question, and either select their floor, or have them notice it is already selected, I can tell them how the lady responded to me.
Our elevators are very slow. There is plenty of time for a conversation between one and two. One comment I use from time to time on the way up goes something like this; "On behalf of the governor and the good people of this sovereign state, I want to thank you all for coming to work today." Another is, "Remember how glad you were the first day you had this job?" I seldom say much on the way home. People on their way home usually do not need cheering up.
I carpool with two guys that work on the 4th floor. Since I almost always ride up with them, that keeps me from saying the same thing too often. Also, it sometimes gives me unique opportunities. If we are alone on the elevator and someone gets on when I get off on the second floor, I always have to say something like, "You may not want to get on the elevator with these two. They are talking politics." Or, "... They are talking shop." etc. Recently my lunch bag accidently hit the emergency call button as I got off on two. I realized what had happened as the doors were closing behind me, and I heard the security guards asking over the elevator loud speaker what the trouble was. I laughed and those two guys still believe, I did it on purpose. I did not do it. I'm innocent, I tell you! Well, innocent of that particular joke, anyway.
This is not a new phenomenon. I have always been this way as long as I can remember. I can distinctly recall saying to people, "On behalf of the stockholders of AT&T and the management team, I want to thank you for coming to work today." I have not worked for AT&T in over thirty years. I have gotten a bit nicer and a little more concerned for decorum. I used to do things like stand, looking at the back of the elevator, instead of turning around as is the custom, or I would respond to unusual noises by saying, "It always makes that noise right before the cables break!" I saw a movie once where someone pretended to have a contagious disease on a long and crowded elevator ride. I never tried that one, but I suppose I would have, if I had had a co-conspirator to talk with about the doctor's appointment I was just returning from, as the character in the movie did.
All that being said, I realize my material is getting old. There are only five or six hundred people in my building, and in the over two years I have worked there, I think most of them have heard my jokes. I need some new material. Can you suggest anything?
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Some Nonsense I recently gave someone advice on overcoming writer's block. I wish I could remember what I told them, because now I am faced with the problem. Actually I do remember the advice I gave about writer's block, or at least the gist of it. Basically the idea is to abandon the idea entirely of writing something worthwhile or of high quality and just write. It is really counter intuitive. Usually if something is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Or if it is not worth doing, you should not do it. But to overcome writer's block you must write something not worth writing and do it badly. So that is what this is, and if you have read this far I apologize. However, if you read further it is your own fault because you are now making an informed decision. It is like the question I posed last month, "Someone has given you an internet blog site on which you can post anything you like. What will it be?" It was a tongue in cheek question because it was posed to people who had blog sites and were already posting whatever they wanted. However, now I must answer it and I got nothing.
My boss was listening to music with earplugs today. She forgot where she was and started singing out loud in that sing song nasal voice people use when they make that mistake. I about busted a gut trying to avoid belly laughing outloud. I do not think she ever figured it out. She stopped when her phone rang.
I got ahead of my wife for a few minutes on Bible correspondence courses, so here I sit noodling around on my blog. We just scanned in two Spanish lessons and e-mailed them to our Spanish translator for a response. He will write a response in Spanish, e-mail it back, and we mail it with the next lesson to the student. This kind of stuff was science fiction when I was a boy. There were networks, but they belonged to the Associated Press and CBS, etc. They did not get used by shoe string ministries. Well, looks like I'm behind again. Back to responding to lessons.
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Reality vs. Fantasy More British teenagers believe King Author and Sherlock Holmes were real than believe Winston Churchill and Florence Nightingale were real. (See Story) A generation is being lost. How will we ever recover?
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Happy Groundhog Day! If the groundhog saw his shadow this morning we will have six more weeks of winter. If not, winter will last about another month and a half. Which will it be where you are?
Day Off my wife and I spent the day knocking around together. We delivered birthday presents to our daughter whose birthday is this weekend. We visited with her and her family for a little while. Our other daughter was there. It was a nice visit. One of the topics that came up was things we had done or said to embarrass ourselves. Then on the way out I grabbed a stack of movies that were sitting by the door. The movies were ones we had loaned to our daughter and I assumed they were stacked there to remind me to take them home. I was wrong. They were only there so she would remember they were on loan, and not hers. They had not finished watching them yet. It was embarrassing and considering the conversation we had just had, ironic. We listened to a series of three sermons over the internet. The preacher started out strong but he never seemed to get to the point. It finally became apparent he was just trying to wet our appetite so we would buy his book. In the evening we finished watching the first season of Perry Mason and the last of our Columbo movies. All in all, a very pleasant day, mostly because of the company, not the activities.
This month in history At various times and places I have made journal entries or just jotted down notes before having this blog. This is a little blog feature I call "this month in history" with journal entries or writings that I have made at some time in the past. Here are two for this month on the same topic.
Carden Castle
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Bezaleel and Aholiab Do you remember Bezaleel and Aholiab from the Bible? (Also spelled Bezalel and Oholiab) No? Well, do not be distressed. Most people do not. They were the best, the leaders, or both, of the skilled workmen that built the tabernacle from Moses' instructions. Believe it or not they are actually mentioned a couple of dozen times, mostly in Exodus. Colossians 1:10 says "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God." Bezaleel and Aholiab were neither priest or prophet, they fought no battles, kinged no kingdoms, preached no sermons, healed no sick, nor miracled not a single miracle, but they still made it into the Bible for doing well for God. There is a new book being written by God. (See Psalm 69:28, Philippians 4:3, Revelation 3:5, 13:8, 17:18, 20:11-15, 21:27) What will be written in it about you?
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Last of a Generation My Uncle Buddy died yesterday. He was the last of my mother's siblings. He was born in 1917. He had a good long run. He was in reasonably good health and active until the last couple of years or so. My father, mother, and all their siblings have now passed away. To add to the sadness his wife is in a nursing facility, and it looks none too good for her to make it much longer. When she goes, I'll have neither aunt, uncle, nor parent. I am having trouble even understanding how I feel about all this, let alone describing it. I admired and liked Uncle Buddy a lot, but I was not close to him. We did not have a real intimate emotional connection, so it is not like I am grieving deeply or something. And yet, I can not get away from a sense that something is lost. Something is missing. Something is gone. Something important. Please join me in praying for his loved ones who are suffering far more than I am.
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Identity Theft It is MLK day and I am home from work and pretty much well except for a little discomfort in my back. My wife and I are hopeful we can get caught up on the Bible correspondence courses today. We are still way behind from being sick. The phone rang a few minutes ago. When I answered it I recognized the youngest son of my older daughter. He is six. He asked to speak to my wife who goes by the name G-ma. He announced to G-ma that her name has been changed to Grandmother effective immediately. She told him that was just fine with her and asked, if this change included only him, or was the entire family included. He told her the entire family was included. That was the end of the call. Well, I guess it is settled then. Too funny.
Birthday Month My younger daughter and her husband took my wife and I out to eat Saturday night in honor of my birthday. I love it when my birthday celebration stretches out all month. We had a very nice time and a good visit. I ate a half a chicken, smashed potatoes, carrot cake, chocolate cake, ice cream and fudge. We shared our deserts, in case you are wondering.
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Good things come in pairs Two of my nieces have given birth to little girls in the past ten days. By an odd coincidence both girls received the same middle name. They sent pictures and report that babies and mothers are doing fine. No report on the fathers, but I assume they are OK, too. As I reflect on these events I find it remarkable how often babies are appearing in my family. When I was younger it seemed like eons between the appearances of new little relatives. Now it seems to occur like every other day. I realize this is not a real change in frequency, but a difference in my perceptions. My father told me it would be like this. The older I get the smarter my father becomes. He told me that would happen as well.
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Monday, Janurary 14, 2008
Twenty-six Questions and Answers My daughter-in-law answered these questions on her blog, and challenged her readers to do the same.
Q: What is one big goal you want to accomplish in 2008?
A: I want to live to see 2009, and recognize it for what it is, when it arrives.
Q: How is the recipe book coming along?
A: I'm not working on a recipe book. My role in such endeavors is to taste the results of the cooking.
Q: What is your greatest regret?
A: I have a hard time with regrets. Inevitably as I look back on it, if I had done things better, some important person, whom I love, would vanish from my life. If I had finished college on the first try, I would not have met my wife. If I had finished college on the second try, my son would probably not exist, etc. However, if I avoid thinking about these kind of unintended good consequences that have come my way by the grace of God, I would have become a Christian at age 4 and focused the first twenty years of my life on learning as much as I possibly could about everything.
Q: What is your greatest lesson learned thus far?
A: That understanding God's word comes more from obeying it, than from studying it. Of course, without study I would not know what to obey.
Q: What ONE book (aside from Bible) would you take to a deserted island?
A: There was a humorist, H. Allen Smith, back in the 1940's, who edited a book based on this question. He put all the stories and articles in it he would like to have with him if he got stranded. It is called Desert Island Decameron and is still available on Amazon.
Q: What ONE food item would you take? (pretending that no matter what it was you would live)
A: Something I already hated, so eating it all the time would not spoil it for me.
Q: What do you fear the most, if anything?
A: Senility
Q: What is a character flaw?
A: In general, or in my character?
Q: A character strength?
A: My ability to avoid uncomfortable questions by misconstruing them and responding with a question or joke.
Q: Who is your favorite cousin?
A: I assume you mean first cousin. Barbara. Of the three that take the time to talk with me, she is the only Christian.
Q: If you were still single and childless, do you think we'd be listening to you on the country music radio by now?
A: No. Not a chance.
Q: And if so, what would the title of your breakout hit be?
A: It would be an instrumental blue grass piece called, "Tennessee Toads."
Q: If you had to live the life of someone from TV or a movie, who would you choose? And what TV/movie are they from?
A: If you mean a fictional character, Gandalf, from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. That would just be way cool. If you mean a real character, the ones I admire the most had lives too tough for me to live.
Q: Who is your hero?
A: I guess Jesus would be an unfair answer in this context. The people I admire the most, living and dead, are the ones who live by principle, rather than convenience. The Apostle Paul, King David (before he was king and started messing up), Billy Graham, and Wilbur Wilberforce all come immediately to mind. There are many others. Those come to mind first mostly because of my current reading, rather than some notion that they are the top four.
Q: Who is your favorite father-in-law and why?
A: What a dumb question. I only have one. Who would ask such a stupid question?
Q: Would you rather die of hypothermia or guillotine? Why?
A: Hypothermia. Just go to sleep and never wake up.
Q: You have a long trip to make. You can ride a camel or a mule. Which would you choose and why?
A: Mule. I have some idea how to drive one of those. (Gee. Haw. etc.) I would need lessons for a camel.
Q: Someone is making a movie about your life. What is the title?
A: Thor, of course.
Q: You have done a great service for your country. They have given you the privilege of making one law of 50 words or less. What would it be?
A: It took me awhile to edit it down to just 50 words but here it is: "Except for national defense, the Federal Government and State Governments are abolished, and each county is an independent nation. No abortions, ever, any time, for any reason. Copyrights and patents are limited to twenty years. Lawyers and accountants can not hold any elected office. Mind your own business. Guard liberty."
Q: You are an astronaut. You have your choice of destinations. Any planet, moon, or asteroid in the solar system. Which one and why?
A: Mars has always interested me, so probably there. (For the timid among you, let me remind you that Earth is one of the planets in the Solar System.)
Q: They are putting you in charge of a nostalgic TV network that shows only old TV shows that are no longer being made. What are some you would choose and why?
A: Hennessey. I have no idea what it was about, but it made my mother laugh a lot, so I want to see it. I mean a belly shaking, thigh slapping, series of loud and alarming noises, laugh. Columbo of course, only with new episodes. All the old variety shows, Ed Sullivan, Carol Burnette, etc. They had something for everyone. Have Gun, Will Travel because it had a chess knight for a logo and music was cool. The first season of most situation comedy shows since they usually were less raunchy than later seasons, and the jokes were fresh. The Mickey Mouse Club, because, like most men my age, I had a crush on Annette Funicello. (My next oldest brother was a Darlene guy.)
Q: What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?
A: Unlike some people, who cheat and name the faces of their loved ones, I will answer "what" instead of "who." There are several close to the top, so I am going to cheat and name several instead of one. The entrance of the cave I had been lost in for a couple of hours sure looked good when we finally found our way out. The American flag on the wall in the airport terminal in Boston looked real good after three weeks in Great Britain. A full moon with a double pastel rainbow around it. My cabin in the country in the snow. My first car.
Q: If they were going to give you any country you wanted to be absolute ruler over, except the USA, which would you choose and why?
A: Australia. Because they speak English and it is big enough to knock around in.
Q: You have volunteered for an experiment where they are going to put you on an island paradise for a year to see how people get along with each other. There will be cameras everywhere broadcasting everything that happens to the entire world, assuming anyone is interested enough to tune in. You get to pick 9 other people to go with you, but they can not be related to you. Who would you pick and why?
A: (1) An expert on survival in the tropics, for obvious reasons. (2) Another expert on survival in the tropics, in case the first one made a critical mistake. (3) The highest rated chess player in the world who also speaks English, so I would have someone who could teach me to play better. (4, 5, 6 and 7) The valedictorian of the graduating classes of MIT for 2007, 2003, 1999, and 1995. So they could teach me something interesting. (8 and 9) Two stand up comedians to give me something to laugh at.
Q: You just won the lottery. Unlimited funds are now at your disposal. What would you buy first?
A: Australia. See two questions above for the explanation.
Q: Someone has just given you a internet blog site on which to post anything you want. What is it going to be?
A: This, apparently.
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Sunday, Janurary 13, 2008
Prayer Requests my wife and I have been sick. She started getting well and then I got sick on Tuesday. We have missed two services at the hospital and one at the jail. Tuesday evening Mark Lang went to the jail in our place and held service. He reported that it was a good service. The chaplain who was supposed to fill in for us at the hospital is also sick. my wife seems to be fully recovered, but I seem to have settled into having a bad cold. In addition, I hurt my back. I do not know how I hurt it, but it is painful to move, cough, sneeze or sit still too long. Please pray for my health to improve.
In addition to our illnesses, we have had problems with our printer. We have now finally been able to get it repaired. Between our illness and the printer problems some Bible students have had their responses greatly delayed. We worked on them some today and have answered everyone who sent us something through January 6th. We still have over twenty lessons to grade and answer. Please pray that God will protect us from any further difficulties which might cause our ministries to be prevented or delayed.
In spite of all this we remain cheerful. Thank God for doctors, medicine, Dr. Scholl's vibrating back massager, my wife getting well enough to baby and spoil me, all the new DVD's I got for Christmas and my birthday, and all the many parts of me that are not in pain.
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Did you miss me? This past weekend we stayed at a cabin on Kentucky Lake. I took Friday off work, caught up on all my Bible correspondence courses in the morning and drove up to Paris Landing State Park in the afternoon. Both my daughters and their households were supposed to join us, but my younger daughter was ill and could not come. It rained off and on all weekend. However, the most intrepid among us mounted a few expeditions. None of these expeditions included me. They brought back large icicles, shoes, and gloves all covered with mud from the first trip. The icicles were stored in the refrigerator's freezer. The shoes and gloves were cleaned. There was a vehicular exploration of the park. A shopping trip to the county seat yielded some Christian devotional books for the prisoners, and some birthday presents for me. I also understand that the 60 ft. Eifel tower in Paris, Tennessee, was once again photographed.
On Saturday, they made me a large brownie for a Birthday cake. It had 53 candles on it, which was short by four being the correct number. I was only able to blow out about 45 on my first attempt. For presents, I got a book I wanted, but did not know existed, and a preacher's tie. The book was an updated version of one I owned thirty years ago. I was very glad to get it. The tie matches the suit my wife got me for Christmas.
We were visited by a raccoon, a cat, and some squirrels who helped us not have as many leftovers to bring home. The raccoon came right up to the door and peeked in until he was noticed and fed. We all got to watch a bald eagle catching a good sized fish in the lake. Some of the explorers got to see a pair of bald eagles.
We played a lot of games with the kids. Their favorite was hide-and-seek inside the cabin, but only if one or more adults participated. I soon discovered, smaller people have a distinct advantage in such an environment. We also played board games with them including Chess, Life, the dice game from Pirates of the Caribbean, and a Bible Trivia game. There were a couple of others, but those are the four in which I participated.
I was the only adult who was completely healthy. The other three were fighting the dregs of lingering colds. They went to bed early and I flipped channels on the TV. Even though it has been many months since I had access to cable TV, I have not lost the knack of it. I watched several different movies at the same time. The only ones I remember watching for sure were The Mask of Zorro and US Marshalls. I believe there were some others, but I'm not sure. I know several hours passed without there being a single thought in my head. Marvelous invention, cable TV.
Since I work for the state I get a 50% discount in State Parks during the winter. One of the expeditions determined that Cabin 5 would have a better view than Cabin 1, where we were staying. The hope is that next year we can rent #5 and repeat this adventure, without the associated illnesses and with a better view. One amusing thing, no doubt brought about by the involvement of the government, was the fire exit map on each bedroom door. The cabin consisted of a great room -- living, dining, and kitchen combined, with three bedrooms off of that. Each of the three bedroom doors had a map showing the way from that bedroom to the two exit doors in the great room. Could there be a more useless waste of time and money?
One of the other volunteer chaplains substituted in our worship services at the hospital in the morning. We returned from the trip Sunday afternoon with my wife sicker and me exhausted. I talked to the two people who might attend Sunday evening service, and since neither was planning on coming, I drove over and put a sign on the door saying we were not having services to cover the very unlikely event of having visitors. Then we collapsed on the couch and watched old episodes of Columbo all evening.
There is a stack of mail waiting for me. Pray for my wife's health.
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I Will NOT Look! my wife was a little under the weather yesterday, so she did not go with me to the service at the jail. (She is much better today.) Mark Lang was there. Mark Lang led the men during testimony time, which my wife usually does. I was glad because I needed to do some serious praying. Rolly led the singing, except for one song, he did not know. He sang three songs solo to make up for my wife being gone, and the loss of her beautiful psaltery music. I was glad because I needed to do some serious praying. As the time approached, I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to change the topic of the sermon.
Instead of preaching the sermon I had prepared about new beginnings, I preached instead on Matthew 5:27-29. I got my sermon examples from the book I just finished called Every Man's Battle. It is about how sexual purity begins with where we decide to look, and failure in this part of our life leads to disaster in everything else. My sermon was specific, frank, and completely unsuited for mixed company. There was a little self-conscience giggling at first, but as I maintained a serious demeanor that died down. The phrase I repeated often, to help them remember was, "I am God's man, and I will not look!"
Instead of the usual invitation, I told them that any man there, that did not have a problem in this area, should come forward and explain how he does it. No one answered the invitation. For table topics I told them, I did not want them to talk about the sermon at all. Instead I asked them to talk about the good qualities in the women in their lives starting with their mothers and little girls. The idea was to emphasize what I had been saying about looking at women as sisters in Christ instead of objects for sexual gratification.
Pop Quiz - A Call for Sermon Illustrations I plan on using the sermon I had planned for last night next week instead. That puts me two weeks ahead in sermon preparation. I hope to stay that far ahead. That will give me more time to collect better sermon illustrations. My next sermon will be entitled, "Are you ready for God's next pop quiz?" The scripture is Matthew 16:13-20 which contains Jesus asking His disciples, "But who do you say that I am?" and Peter answering, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Peter passed the pop quiz. There are some other Bible stories to draw from like when Joseph passed God's pop quiz, when he left his clothing in the hands of Potipher's wife and ran.
It is about being ready for those unexpected questions and circumstances; that put your faith in God, and your determination to be a Christian, to the test. I am hoping that my blog fans will share with me real life stories of passing and failing these pop tests of our character. I want to make three points: (1) The wonderful rewards of passing the test, (2) the awful consequences of failing the test, and (3) God's loving watch care of us when we do fail. Please help me with this. I promise to change the names to protect the guilty.
Illustrations from the Bible and popular entertainment would also be welcome, as would any other ideas that you might have. I already have:
-
The questions Jesus asked His disciples before the feeding of the 5,000
- The healing by Jesus of the ten lepers, only one of whom passed the pop quiz
- Mark 9:33 when he asks the disciples to explain what they were arguing with
each other about.
- When the resurrected Jesus asked, "Saul, Saul, why persecutest
thou me?"
- 1 Kings 22:15-22 where Ahab's failure costs him his life
- John 21:15-19 Jesus questions Peter's love
- Sarah denies laughing at the prophecy of Isaac's birth
- God asks Cain, "Where is your brother, Abel?"
- God calls to Adam and Eve who are trying to hide from Him in the garden
- In Matt 22 when Jesus asks the Sadducees if they have read the Bible
- In Haggai 1 when God asks the Israelites why they live in comfort
while the temple lays in ruins.
- Isaiah 6:8 "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, 'Whom shall I
send, and who will go for us?' Then said I, 'Here am I; send me.'"
- When the Lord asked Jonah, "What right do you have to be angry?"
I
would not mind considering other Bible passages, but I really think I have
plenty of those. I need some from real life and from the imaginary world of
entertainment.
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Church Annual Report This is the letter I am starting to send out to
our various supporters:
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Love Bible Church - 2007 Dear Friends, In February, the Lord opened a door for service for us at the local county jail. Every Tuesday evening we go to have worship service with men waiting trial for serious felonies. An average of 17 men attend each week, but because of the frequent turnover as men go to trial and more are arrested we have had 152 different men in our services. We have seen many saved and rededicated by the power of the Holy Spirit. Please pray that many more will be saved. We soon realized that worship alone was not sufficient ministry for these men. Discipleship training was needed beyond evangelism. We started writing and sending them Bible lessons by mail. I write the lessons and my wife illustrates them. We send a Bible with the first lesson. When the men respond, in addition to grading their work, we write each one a personal note and prayer. We have sent about 250 Bibles with first lessons. About 75 men have responded by completing at least one lesson. We have mailed out about 500 lessons beyond the first lesson to these 75 men. About 40 are still active in taking lessons as of this month. To the men who complete at least 10 lessons we send a Bible Dictionary. We have mailed 15 Bible dictionaries. To the men who attend at least 10 worship services we send an inspirational or devotional Christian book. We have mailed 34 of these kind of books. Please pray that these men will continue to grow in Christian maturity. However, all these students are not in the local jail. As some of the men go to trial, and are sent to other prisons, our Bible courses have reached into the state prison system. These students recruit other students. We have never met more than half of our students. We have one Bible student in an Oklahoma prison. Please join us in praying for an open door that the Bible lessons may reach the female prisoner population as well. Our ministry at the behavioral health hospital has continued. In addition to units for rehabilitation from substance abuse and various mental difficulties, the hospital also has a hospice wing. We go every Sunday morning and have worship service with patients, staff, and visitors in the hospital chapel. After the chapel service we go to a ward where the patients are locked in and have another service in their break room. This year, we have given about 175 Bibles to patients in this ward. Please pray that God use our ministry there for his glory. We support through prayer and financial giving five foreign missionary teams, and two local ministries. This year we sent a total of about $3,000 to help in their work for God's kingdom. Please pray that this money will bear much spiritual fruit. In September, we were joined by a local minister, Mark Lang. He is helping us in the jail. Please pray for more Christian people to help us in God's work. God Bless You, Thor |
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